The Wolf Files: Set Free
by SweetlyBroken33
Summary: Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you. A Paul & Rachel Fic Rated T for now
1. Chapter 1

**I have a few very important things to say before you read this fic. First off this Fic has to do with very mature subject matter who some might find offensive. Note that it is said right here in the clear that the matter of drug use, treament, and getting off drugs is the subject matter in this chapter and will be through-out this fic. If you find any of this offensive you need to not read this. I mean to make anyone feel uncomfortable, or upset. I own nothing but my own thoughts and takes on the characters that SM has been so great to bless us with. This is my take on Rachel and Paul. So please read and enjoy...On with the show....**

**Thanks **

**Sweetlybroken**

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Set Free

=+= I Can Run =+=

Rachel PoV

"I don't know when I really realized that I was different. I can't even tell you when I first noticed it. I can't even really tell you how I ended up here to be honest. Well back here. Yeah I've been here before, anyway I'm a different person now. I probably won't even remember this later today. I'll still be up then." I stated looking down at my shaking legs.

" Are you okay Rachel?" He asked me in a sexy husky voice that made me smile.

" Yeah I'm okay, I do this all the time." I stated getting lost in the way his eyes held mine.

He had to be the most gorgeous guy that I have ever seen. You could tell where his hair had started growing in from having it cut real short. His body was muscled and sculpted, his arms was a canvas to a few tattoos', the one that caught my eye the most was the pair of wolf eye's that was looking back at me. They was so realistic, and so deep that I couldn't help myself from falling deep into its gaze.

I didn't realize how caught up I had actually gotten until I heard him clear his throat.

" Yeah people like this one the most for some reason." He said rubbing his hand over his arm.

I glanced up at him catching his eyes again " It's different and very well done, I wish mine would have turned out better." I rolled my eyes not caring to hide my envy.

" You have tattoos?" His voice sounding surprised

I laughed at him as I leaned back so that I could show him my one and only tattoo of my own wolf- rose. I was a little unhappy because he was going to get to see how shity mine turned out compared to his. I watched him look down and a smile cross his face. I knew that it wasn't as great as his but he didn't have to laugh at it.

" Hey, it's not as great as yours but I like it." I laughed pushing the top of my jeans a little more so that he could get the full view.

He laughed shyly before looking back into my eyes. " If you like it that's all that matters right?" He smiled at me.

I sat back up wrapping my arms around my knees resting my head on my lap " Yeah I guess. You never did tell me your name. I mean you might have but I just don't remember nothing personal or anything I'm just a little out there right now." I whispered looking over at him a little.

" I'm Paul, I know your little brother, anyway go on with what you was saying before...You know before we talked tattoos." he asked sincerely.

I laughed as I stood up. " You know Paul, I really don't remember. It's cool that you know my little brother, he's on the road of life right now so I don't know about him. What I do know is that he'll be okay, we all are." I said pulling my hood up walking off.

I couldn't sit steal anymore, and wasn't sure if conversation was what I needed to be doing at the moment, I was so high at this point that I really didn't know what I should be doing. Most of the time when I'm like this I had a place to go where I was by myself, a place where I could do whatever it is that I wanted to do with worrying about a million people asking me questions.

" Rachel!" Paul whispered from behind me causing me to jump.

" Hey you can't do that to me okay, I'm an upper type of person and I scare real easy." I yelled holding my hand over my heart. As if it wasn't beating hard enough before I had this shocker to add to the list.

He looked sad for a second " I'm really, really sorry I didn't mean to scare you I just couldn't let you walk away from me."

I'm sure that I was looking at him like he was crazy " You don't want to know me Paul, I mean my conversation is great right now but later it might not be so good, you wouldn't understand so I'm not going to explain it to you just trust me on this okay. No one knows me as good as I do." I said taking a step back from him.

It was best that he take my warning, there was something about Paul that I didn't want him to be drug into my life. He needed to stay away, far away from a girl like me. I gave him one last look holding eye contact so that I could make sure he knew that I wasn't joking about what I had said, before I started to walk away again. I looked back a few times and seen that he wasn't following me.

As I got father away I saw that he hadn't moved from the spot that I had left him in.

**//**//**//**//**//**//**//**//*//*//**//**//**//**//**//**//****

**  
**

" The first time that I noticed I was different was the first time that I ever got up. It was a feeling that I can't even put into words, it was bittersweet though and I learned allot about myself that night. I had a breakdown, a breakthrough, and cried a river while I built my bridge and got out it all in a 24 hour period." I took a drink of my tea feeling my mind ease to a state of peace. " I can't really tell you much about it other then It did me allot of good. Well, kinda I guess."

Paul looked over at me nodding his head. Yeah funny thing happened a few days after I left the beach I went to a bonfire with my dad and he was there. I was having down day so I wasn't really in the mood to talk yet he understood and still sat beside me a little off from everyone else, so we kinda started talking and now here he was sitting on the front steps of my dad's house at 4:30 in the morning listening to me talk.

" Rachel can I ask you something?" He asked me looking worried.

I took a deep breath because I already knew what was coming. I already knew what his reaction was going to be. " Yeah, but I'm not going to lie or sugar coat anything alright." I whispered as I looked into his eyes.

He seemed to be like he was looking for the right way to ask me. A way not to sound like a jerk or a cop or parent or something. It was amusing to watch him, I wasn't used to people that worried about sparing my feelings. Who gave a damn right?

" You get high off pills right?" He asked looking me in the eyes.

I laughed as I felt my high hit me full blast, causing me to laugh harder. I couldn't help it I couldn't stop laughing. This action right here had to have answered his question I mean what normal person would be laughing like this over nothing. I tired to stop laughing when i felt a sharp pain rush through my right side making it harder to breath. I saw dots every time that I would blink my eyes, and my head started to spin.

" Rachel Baby, breath!" I heard being yelled at me as everything went black around me, my chest was heaving up and down as I lost feeling in all of my body.

_There was black roses laying all around me, I was on my back naked floating in the roses, There was nothing but dim light all around me, I couldn't recognize where I was all I knew it that this was the most peaceful place that I have ever been too. I picked up a rose and brought it to my nose inhaling its sweet scent when I started falling, falling into darkness at a fast speed, I was reaching, reaching out trying to grab ahold of something, anything, but darkness. I felt sick like I was going to throw up instead I hit the ground with such a force I knew that every bone in my body had shattered. I tried to pull myself up but my legs where too weak. I started to scream, someone had to get me out of here, someone had to help me. A hand reached out to grab me and I touched a the warm fingers but as soon as I made contact I was pulled away, pushed into more darkness only this time to heard the lock turn and I knew that I no longer could run.  
_

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**I hope that you liked this chap. I would love to hear how you feel about it, please R&R. I am working on another fic right now to so updates will go between here and FearLess. You will also be able to find more about my fics on my Profile. If there happens to be a Beta reading this I'm in need of one so take a chance on me. Thanks for reading & reviewing... See I already said thank you so now you gotta R&R...lol**


	2. Useless

**Hey everyone that is reading this.. I need reviews so if you read this then be nice enough to leave a review it means alot ot me and will bring on more chapters. Right now my reviews are down so much I dont know if this fic is even worth it. Anway on with the fic. pleze R&R and thanks to who have. **

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// Set Free //

Useless

Paul PoV

" I haven't even known her four days yet, Four fucking days SAM! " I yelled my while trying to stop fucking shaking. " I've known my imprint four days and she's already dying on me, What and hell am i supposed to do with this SAM?!"

I was yelling at Sam, my alpha something that I had never did before, something that could very well get me killed. Shit why did it matter my other half was in there dying as I'm standing out here yelling at Sam. My imprint, that I didn't even know existence until four days ago, was now laying in a bed in the hospital that I'm standing in front of. I was outside. Some Imprinter I am.

_I can't even keep it together enough to be in there with her_

" The first thing that you need to do is clam down Paul." Sam said giving me a stern look. " Second, wait for Emily to come back out with whatever information that she has collected."

" Sure thing let me just get right fucking on that." I yelled throwing my arms in the air.

What the fuck did he want from me. I mean if this was Emily he wouldn't be Mr. Cool Clam and Collected himself. But since it's my imprint it don't matter how I act I'm just being me angry, hot tempered Paul. Paul who couldn't even go in and see his imprint and know if she was dead or alive. How could I have let this happen in the first place. I knew the night that I met her that she was on something. The way her heart beat told me all I needed to know.

_Why did I always have to fuck up everything_

I felt like I could cry. Yeah, I haven't cried since I was about 6 years old. Crying is not something that I do. And now all i wanted to do was crawl up in a little ball and cry. A big fucking pity party.

" Emily is on her way out I want you to get it together." Sam stated as Emily came thorough the doors.

I looked at her trying to read her face bracing myself for the worst, She held the perfect poker face though. " How is she?" Was out my mouth before I even had the chance to really think about it.

Emily came closer to me placing her hand on my arm. " She's stable they had to pump her stomach twice, but most of it had hit the blood steam already so they had to give her a shot to clam her system down. But other then that and the sore throat shes going to have she'll be fine. There just glad that you got her to the hospital when you did or she might not be alive right now." Giving me a small smile at the end.

A smile what was there to smile about. Okay so my she was going to live, but she was going to have a sore throat. I didn't want my imprint to be in a hospital okay, let alone have a sore throat. I know that it was something really petty to be pissed off about but my feelings for this girl and her well being was stronger then anything that I had felt before. I wanted her to be perfect. I needed her to be perfect so that I could be okay.

I ran my hair through the hair on my head that wasn't there no more. Sometimes I forgot that the long hair days was over. " Well, when can I see her?" I asked Emily eager to get into that room as soon as I could.

I had to see for myself that she was okay, and to tell her that I'm sorry this had to happen to her.. And that I would do everything that I could to keep this from happening ever again.

" Paul, I don't think that right now is the best time to see her, she's not really comprehensive at this moment. Also Billy said that he didn't want you in there right now." She said the end part low enough to where she knew that I would hear it, before she took her place closer to Sam.

" WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BILLY DON'T WANT ME IN THERE? " I yelled causing Emily to flinch and Sam to growl pulling her behind him. " WHO THE FUCK IS HE TO TELL ME THAT I CAN'T SEE HER. I'M THE ONE THAT SAVED HER!"

I was in raged, so mad that I wanted to walk into that hospital and take out anyone that got in my way from seeing her. How could he not let me in there with her? He of all people knew how the imprint works. What did the same rules not apply to me. Was I some kind of fucking exception to the rules?

I had, had enough I wasn't just going to stand here not being able to find out what was going on myself. I didn't need Emily to be my messenger. I took a deep breath pulling out the doors and I walked in that bitch like I owned it. I was going to go right up to Billy Black and demand to know what his problem was. I didn't really know where I was going I was just acting on the way that my heartfelt as I went throw doors. The closer that I got to her the more peaceful I felt, that's how I knew that I was on the right path.

" Paul Stop!" I heard the Alpha tone from behind me and had no choice but to stop.

I didn't turn around as I felt him get closer to me. I knew that my actions had just gotten me into a lot of shit and now I was going to hear it. Over the night I had done a list of things that would make Sam pissed at me but I think that this was his last straw. I braced myself for the worst.

" I understand that this is hard for you, and I'm sorry that you have to go through this but you can't go around like a crazy man, okay Billy doesn't know about the imprint yet and I'm not sure that now is the best time to tell him. The man just found out that his daughter has a drug problem and almost died tonight. You can't rush in there making a scene, I wont allow it Paul." Sam was in full Alpha mode. " I'm going to have to tell you to leave Paul, until everything gets clamed down and things get worked out."

I couldn't belive it he was making me leave. How the hell could he of all people do this to me? He has an imprint he knows how it feels. I had no choice but to make my way out of the hospital. As soon as I made it back outside I couldn't take it no more. Everything that was bottle up inside of me was ready to come out I had no choices at the moment and no longer could hold anything back.

I ran into the woods next to the hospital and let my anger flow through me exploding into the gray wolf that I was trying so hard to contain.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, I am posting this chap but know that it will be the last chap that I post if I don't start getting reviews. I'm seeing that your reading this but not giving no feed back. I'm not trying to sound like a bitch r anything but if people can't review then why write. I need to know if who ever is reading this is feeling it. If it's going well.. what you guys would like to see. I have big plans for this fic. I really want to write it but It's hard to write when you feel that your wasting your time. so please r&r and no that I will post another chap of when I get 5 reviews. thank you **

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// Set Free//

Chapter 3

Rachel PoV

Rachel,

Look I can't tell you how much You really mean to me all right. I can't even find words to describe how wonderfully complete that you make me feel, or how that when I'm with you I can't think of no place I would rather be. The fact that when your anyway from me I drive myself crazy with thoughts of you. I know that the next year or so is going to be hard for you. I know that you can only take so much with out breaking. I've seen the way that it's going to be and fully understand. I'm not trying to force anything up on you, I just want you to know that if you need someone you got me. You mean allot to me Rachel Me'chell Black and I'm happy that I met you.

-Paul-

//**//**//**//

I read over his letter one more time before they called lights out. It was part of what I did at night, after my shower I would write whoever and then read Paul's letter and go to bed. I have had the letter for about five months now. It was the first letter that I got here. I hadn't even been here for three days and got mail. Mail from the person that I can really say saved my life. If it wouldn't have been for him I know that I wouldn't bee here right now. Even though here was hell, at least I was still breathing.

" Rachel are you going to take your meds?" my roommate asked me

I pulled out the pills from under my pillow and gave them to her. I had no use for them, I'd stopped taking the sleeping pills half way into month two. After a while they started to make me sick. I've never been a downer kind of chick anyway. So I gave them up.

I laid down with a smile, thinking about Paul. Yeah my thoughts where on him a lot as of late. He is my best friend, the only person besides my dad that comes to see me. Even when my dad didn't come he was still here greeting me every visit with a grin like I was the best person that he had ever seen in his life. It made me smile though and let me know that as long as I had someone that touched to see me, I had to fight to get out of here so that I could be with him.

I want us to be able to have a friendship that does'nt have to consist of two hour visits on Wednesdays and Sundays. I wanted for us to be able to do things and for him to know a sober clean Rachel. A sober Rachel, is someone that I have to fight with everyday. Some days it's okay it I can make it through. Yet others I just want to lay down and die. I get sick allot, everyone tells me that it's just because my body is getting used to not having drugs.

I think about my pills everyday, every minute of everyday it's consumes my mind. I'm really glad that I can't get out of here because if I could I would be in the first medication cabinet that I could find. I have dreams about it every other night. When I'm not dreaming about Paul I'm dreaming about being high. It's one or the other they never come together as strange as that is.

" So R.b. is your boyfriend coming to see you today?" My roommate asked as we made our beds.

" I don't have a boyfriend." I whispered back to her. I not having the energy to speck over a whisper.

" Well, to not be your boyfriend he sure is decanted to making it up here to see you, I wish that my boyfriend was up here half as much as your's." She rambled on and on.

I zoned out not wanting to hear her any more. We had just woke up about an hour ago and she hasn't stopped talking yet. I myself wasn't in such of a great mood. I didn't get no sleep last night when I spent the better part of my morning sick in the bathroom. Every part of my body hurt, a dull pain ran through my blood making me uncomfortable and making it really hard to focus. I couldn't even make up my bed right.

" God Rachel, you need some help?" She asked me.

I put my hands up stepping away from the bed as she came over and the simple task that I couldn't. I can't tell you why at that point I started to cry. Yeah and I never cry but I couldn't hold these tears back. I couldn't even make up a bed. My roommate patted me of the back after she was done with my bed telling me that it would be okay and we should get to group.

I whipped my tears away pulling it together before I walked out.

//**//**//**//

Group has consisted of the same thing since my first day here. Express your feelings, talk about life with-out drugs, and really anything else to get you to pour your heart and soul out in front of a circle full of girls. The more you talked in group the better chances you had of getting out of here. Given that I still had a long way to go Most of the time I wouldn't say much. I had nothing to say.

About half way into it I got happy because I realized that today was Sunday and after this I would get to see either Paul or my dad, hell I might even get lucky and have both of then here at the same time. I loved when they both came even though my dad would give Paul looks that should have killed him dead on the spot, every time he would catch him looking at me.

The way that Paul looks at me has enough power behind it to make me stop breathing. Every time we make eye contact I have to pull away so I don;t make a total ass of myself and do something really crazy like tell him I love him and can't live with out him. Yeah, that sounds about right " Hey Paul I just wanted to let you know that I've only known you for about five months, and you had to save my life, and now I'm in this crazy drug rehab treatment place but I just wanted to say I love you!"

Yeah, that might sound just a little crazy. My facts on Paul are really numbered, every time we talk it's always about me. He knows allot about me from just coming to see me two days a week. Really he is the only person that I have really talked deeply to about my situation. The first person that I have opened up to in years that wasn't drug induced. The only friend that I have now.

Group sleekened like it was never going to end. They had gave up on me saying anything today. My roommate told them that I had been sick, and really wasn't up for much today. I have to say that I count her as a friend too. A mean time friend meaning that when I leave here we will most likely never see each other again. But for now it works. I was getting antsy and restless waiting for them to call group over so that I could go get ready for my visit.

My visit with my best friend.


	4. Release

**Hey everyone who is reading this... Here's the new chap... I hope everyone likes it thinks to everyone for the great reviews they really mean alot to me. and if your reading this fic and not sure if it's okay to review i'm a really sweet girl and would love to hear anything that you have to say and I will take the time to answer any ? you might have, open to any ideas you want to throw my way.. and am here to talk if you need me. So here is the next chap I hope that you all like it. Lets just say that after this chap things are going to start to heat up in many ways. The next update I will do is going to be on my other fic FearLess and that will be sometime this weekend. So check that out.**

**Also there is one fic that I'm reading right now that has my eye and I'm really into it and Think you should check it out if you have a thing for Paul and Rachel. It's called "Breathless: The Story of Rachel and Paul" by Gracie143. Who is becoming a really good friend of mine. She updates her fic everyday and it's really worth reading. So go and show her some love too. **

**Anyway I know your sick of hearing my mouth remember I own nothing but my own thoughts I just hope you like them.... R&R Pleze!!!!**

**ON WITH THE SHOW.......**

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// Set Free //

Release

Paul PoV

" I want to tell her." I said with my head down.

This morning Sam and I was at Billy's house. It was Sunday which meant that we would be going to see Rachel today. Actually this wasn't going to be like the other visit because today would mark her ten month being there. So today we all was going to meet with her counselor and doctor, and if everything goes right with this meeting she'll get to come home soon.

" No. And that is my final answer." Billy stated strongly.

My hands started to shake. " Why?" I asked my hands clenching in first by my side

" Today might be the day that my little girl get's to come home I will not have you messing anything up for her." He yelled.

It wasn't everyday that Billy Black got so upset that he yelled. I glared at him the same why he was looking at me. " So what Billy do want her to feel like she has nothing when she comes home? I love her and I know that she feels for me too. She's my imprint it's not like I'm just trying to have sex with her or something." I yelled.

I wasn't trying to yell but I was getting really pissed off. It was okay for everyone to be with there imprint but when it came to me no.

Sam stood up looking at me, " Paul, you will not tell Rachel until she has been home for a whole and things are going well with her. Something like this you can't just spring on a girl after what she's been through." Alpha tone lacing his words.

_He fucking made it an order_

Billy was sitting with a smirk on his face. Yeah he got his way and now he's happy. I bet everyone was happy but me. I was so mad that I was shocked when I got out the door fast enough to phase. Billy came to the door looked out at me and slammed the door.

_I had to fight the urge from going throw that door and ripping his fucking head off _

Something must have been on my side today because There was no other voices in my head besides my own. Which is really a great thing given that I just thought about attacking my imprints dad. I decided that it would be best for me to just go back to my house until it was time to go see Rachel. Seeing Rachel is the only thing that made my weeks go by more pleasant.

I have been there twice a week for ten months. I wrote her a letter when she first got there letting her know that if she need me I would be there. I was hoping that my dedication would prove the Billy that I was ready to be with his daughter, that I was going to take care of her and be everything that she needed. Yet the events of today has showed me that he really could care less about any of that and I would never be with his daughter if he had anything to do with it.

I didn't let the thought of that piss me off or I wouldn't have been able to phase so that I could go in my house. I'm really happy that my mom wasn't home or else coming in the house naked wold have been a problem. I went to my room and got dressed again, grabbed something to eat and sat and thought about Rachel.

_God I loved her_

I have found out so much about her in these ten months it's almost as if this wouldn't have happened the way it did I might not have knew anything about her. It's almost as if it was fate. She's very different then the Rachel that I met that night on the beach. Yet she's still a had did she put it an upper person. It makes my heart feel with joy of how every times she sees me she smiles like I'm the best dude on earth. Or the fact that she is the most sexy girl I have ever seen even if she is wearing a pair of pajama bottoms and a white tee-shirt. Her favorite thing to wear by the way.

She was unique, scared to death of Elmo, clowns, and snakes. Her favorite animal is wolves. Yeah, I almost fall dead when she told me that. I just don't know how she feels about men that turn into a wolf. But we will cross that bridge when it comes.

She's a twin but her and her sister don't share the same birthday. Yeah i wondered how the hell that happened too, but when she explained it to me I got it. See Becca was born at 11:55 on the 20th of January and Rachel was born on at 12:02 on the 21st. Which made her an Aquarius and Becca is a Capricorn. She and her sister don't get along too well, she's told me a bunch of stories about how they never got along. On the other hand Jacob is her baby. I mean really when she was younger she would tell people that Jacob was her child. It was funny because he was like two and she was like 7.

She misses Jacob allot and I can see the worry in her eyes when she talks about him. I really wish that he would come home so that she would know that he was okay and could rest her mind. Poor girl doesn't even have a clue why he left or anything. I wanted to tell her everything about what happened with him but if I did that I would have to tell her the WHOLE story. So I just went around all of her questions.

I could really sit and talk about Rachel all-day. Yeah just ask the pack they hear about her when ever I'm phased. I'm just happy that Jacob hasn't been phased when I was because I'm sure that when he finds out that I imprinted on his sister things aren't going to go so well. But there isn't much he can do about it so in the end I will win.

I said nothing to Sam or Billy the whole ride to Seattle. The reason Sam was going with us is because Billy asked him to go just in case things didn't go so well. Meaning that they said Rachel wasn't going to get to come home and I furred-out is what he was basically trying to say in a nice way.

_Don't know why he wants to spear my feelings now _

I've made this trip so many times I could drive it with my eyes closed. I take it that's the reason I wasn't driving. So I took the time to catch up on some much needed sleep. I had really been wearing myself out between patrol, working with my dad, seeing Rachel, wanting, Rachel fighting with who ever wanted to fight, I was getting about 5 hours of sleep a week. It would have taken a toll on me if I didn't know that it was for the best.

" Paul we're here." Sam said as he made his way to the trunk to get Billy's wheel chair.

As I got out I felt the pull in my chest. The same pull that I felt every time I would stand in this spot. I got like this really slow rush of adrenaline, that couldn't do nothing but make me smile. It's funny because I really had the urge to jump up and down like I used to when I was little and got a new toy. Rachel was like the best most awesome toy that I could get and I was going to be the only one all the whole block to have her.

_Really happy that I'm not wolfed out because everyone would be laughing at me, have to make sure not to think of this later_

Sam looked over at me and Billy rolled his eyes at me taking in the stupid grin that I could feel stretched across my face. As we made our way in checked in and then waited for Rachel's counselor to come and get us. There wasn't that many people here today, come to think of it there really never is that many people here, Rachel tells me that there are girls that ask every visit if someone is here to see them and they always tell them no. She was real sad about it too. Hell The way she said it I felt bad about it.

It's funny how you can feel the same way your imprint feels, I mean I saw how the imprint worked and everything but until it happens to you, You don't know shit. It's a deep, strong pull that you couldn't fight even if you wanted to. I don't know why anyone would...But It would be a hard thing to do. You wouldn't and couldn't be happy I tell you that. I can't even put me and Rachel being apart in the same mind space, It's just too much to take.

" Mr. Black and company." A lady said approaching us. She was Rachel's consoler.

Billy held his hand out they had met a few times. " Yes, How are you." He asked with using that Black smile. I swear the smile ran in the family.

" I'm doing well and so is your daughter if you would follow me we can go met her in my office." She said looking as she looked up at me. " Hey Paul why don't you lead the way why I get a very papers." She suggested to me.

I smiled before I started leading Billy and Sam thorough the doors. I had been to this office so many times. As we rounded the corner I saw her. She was standing by the door with her head down, her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head, a pair of hot pink fuzzy pajama bottom's and a light pink wife beater. She looked HOT! I guess she felt the same pull that I was feeling because she looked up and her face lit up like a starry sky.

" Daddy!" She yelled as she ran over to us. Billy had his arms out and wrapped her into a big hug as soon as she was close enough. She smiled up at Sam. Who she didn't really know but they went to school together. " Paul!" she smiled a sweet smile at me.

I heard her heart speed up as her look lingered on me, and I felt myself smile. Happy that I could have that affect on her. I was going to say something to her but Billy started conversation before I could even get words to form in my mind. So I looked her over. She was a little bigger then the first time that I met her. She wasn't fat but she was no where near as skinny as she was. Her hair was thicker and more shiny, and her eyes where natural not glossy and polished.

The way the waist of her pants were resting on her hip bones and her tattoo played peek-a-boo with you every time that she would move was driving me out my mind. I never really saw her in a sexual way until now. I mean when I thought about sex it was always with her in mind, but now she was like Ms. aphrodisiac herself. What's so sexy about the whole thing is that she wasn't even trying to be sexy, didn't even know she was doing it.

Sam wheeled Billy into the room leaving me and Rachel in the hall. She looked at me and smiled putting her head down. " Hey" She said all most at a whisper.

I moved closer to her taking my hand titling her head up to where she was looking at me. " How are you? " I asked looking deep into her eyes.

She laughed but stepping closer. " I'm coming home today, I wasn't supposed to say anything until we got in there it's a surprise but I wanted to let you know." She smiled at me. " BUT....there is allot of shit that I gotta do when I get home and I'm going to need someone ya know? "

I moved my hand from her chin to her cheek, " Rachel you have someone, you have me." I leaned down to kiss her lips when I heard hills clicking down the hall and knew that this kiss wasn't going to happen.

Rachel moved away from me but took my hand in her's, as we walked into the office behind her consoler she squeezed my hand. I smiled down at her letting her know that It was going to be okay.

Okay so the meeting was good, They told us how great Rachel had done considering where she was at when she first came here, Which was almost dead, she did well in all of her classes here, had no write ups and followed by all there rules more then they even expected people to do. She completed a year program in ten months and was ready to be on outpatient care. Billy was so proud of her it was all over his face.

I was proud of her too, I mean she had came along way and had done along time. I saw her roll her eyes when they brought up the outpatient care. Which meant that she has to meet for class and group three days a week in Forks. Which I would be personally be taking her too. There was no way that I was going to have her running around Forks with out me. Sam gave me a look that told me he was on the same wave length as me.

She also had to find a job or go to school and show sines of supporting herself. She would have to abide by these rules for the next 2 months or she would have to go to a long term facility which we the closet one to us was in New York and most of the time you didn't get out of them for a few years. Rachel just smiled and nodded along, She was ready you could see it in her eyes.

At the end of the meeting Rachel wrote down her list of goals, gave the consoler a hug and signed her release papers. Sam took Billy to the car as I waited for Rachel to get all of her thing together and meet me in the front. I heard the door unlock and seen her walk through. She smiled at me as soon as the door was closed put down her bag and ran to me jumping into my arms placing her lips on mine.

Kissing me like she had been waiting for months to be this close to me.

And I loved it. There was no other thing in the world that I ever want to feel other then her kiss my day was complete, I couldn't be happier. Something was on my side all along.

_It's about fucking time!!!! _

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**Thanks for reading I hope you like this chap.... I tried to give ya a long one and get a few thing taking care of at the same time. We still have a long way to go... YAY!!!!! pleze R&R **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone I just wanted to leave you guys a little gift since this is the first day of my vacation... I have to say thanks to everyone that has R&R.. but hey my show is on G2G....lol..... R&R PLEZE!!!!!!**

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// **Set Free** //

Chapter 5

**Rachels PoV**

" Thanks for giving me a ride, I don't know what time this is going to be over so I'll just take a taxi to the border or something." I said as I got all of my stuff out of Paul's floorboard.

I looked up catching him lost in a daze looking at me and felt insecure. Something that I don't normally feel when anyone one looks at me let alone guys. I smiled weakly at him before I closed the door.

" Hey, I'll be here when ever you get out." He called to me as I walked around the truck.

I waved him off hoping that he would just go. I'm sure that he had something better to do then wait for me. It was really sweet of him to want to make sure that I have a ride but he's already been doing to much. Taking me every where I need to go, making sure that I don't feel alone. Hell, half the time I have to push him out the door reminding him that he has school. Some times I wonder where he finds time to do the things he wants to do as much as he's doing something for me.

I walked into the same white room that I've been coming to for three weeks now. I took my normal set at the right end of the circle. I like always was one of the last people to get here. There's only 6 in our group so that says allot. I'm the only one from La Push all the other druggist are from Forks. Everyone is older then me here. Most of them are about my dads age. I'm the second youngest person here, the youngest is this girl that's 13.

" Everyone have a good weekend?" Mr. Branson asked getting things started.

There was a round of hell nos, eye rolls, And from me nothing.

" Rachel you want to start off tonight since you didn't answer my question?" He motioned for me to stand.

I stood up pulling down my shirt to me with the waist of my fuzzy pjs. " My name is Rachel and I'm a Upper. I didn't do nothing this weekend but lay around, so my weekend wasn't good & it wasn't bad. It happened and that's about it." I looked around before taking my seat.

Mr. Branson smiled at me. I knew that he was wanting me to talk more, he had discussed it with me after class a few times that it would make my recovery better if I talked about it and got it all out. I told him that I would think about it, but wasn't going to make any promise. I have thought about it. I think about it every night and the conclusion that I've came to is that I'm not going to get far telling a room of people that are more addicted then me my issues. Besides it's something that I can work through myself.

Most of my issues started when I was 13, I realized then that my mom was dead and there was nothing I could do to get her back. That Becca will always be the one that gets to do everything first. And that Jacob is the baby and I was supposed to take care of him because daddy can only take care of himself and her even needs help doing that. By, the time that I was 16 I was sick of La Push, I hated the fact that I didn't have no mother to take me out for girls day and shit like the other girls moms did.

As soon as I walked across that stage in High School right after Becca I went home packed all my shit and went off to school, where I met the love of my life, my little bottle of happiness. The first time I popped pills or " Got Up" as we called it back at school. I had never felt better, everything that was wrong was okay, I could deal with the fact that my life was a big despoilment. Everything that was falling apart was glued back in place by tiny pills.

I was Super Girl, staying up all night having energy all day, school work was a breeze, I would be weeks ahead, that's why I gradated five months early. The party used to not start till I got there, everyone knew my name. I was great, I was free, I was Rachel Me'chell Black, The Rachel that I always wanted to be. School life was the life. It's kinda fate that I would come back to La Push and end up sitting in rehab. I had been doing it for years and never almost died.

Since I've been home the only time that I really leave the house is when I come here. I went out once to the grocery and everyone was looking at me like I was some kind of alien. News goes around La Push it's a really small place, and it gives something for the old bitty to talk about. My own dad treats me different, I guess he just dosent know how to take the news that his daughter is an upper. Little brother still hasn't came home, I heard that he knows about what going on with me but hasn't said anything about it.

I think it's kinda messed up that I have to hear about how my own brother is doing through gossip from Embry to Paul. Form Paul to my dad. From my dad to me. Then again I guess I'm not really the poster child for family first. Becca isn't talking to me, I guess she's mad that I did the whole rehab thing before her or something. She told dad that she didn't have a twin sister that was on drugs. She's disowned me until I better myself. I disowned her along time ago so it doesn't really matter now does it?

I don't really care what people think of me, My give a damn busted along time ago. I don't try to make anyone happy, because I can't it just doesn't work out that way for me. So I make myself happy, haven't been doing such a good job of it recently but there's things standing between me and my happiness. I'm going to play by the rules for the time being but it won't be like this forever.

" Okay I want you all to have a safe day, remember to think things through before you act. Rachel I wanna see you for a sec. after class okay." Mr. Branson said pulling me out of my mind.

Damn I missed the whole meeting, great now I gotta hear whatever he has to say to me. I watched as everyone got there paper singed making there way out of the room, leaving only me and Mr. Branson.

I made my way over to the table where he was putting his things away. " You wanted to see me." I asked looking down at my house slippers.

He looked up at me smiling. " Rachel, I want to know what you've got going on in you head, I see you thinking, about all the things that you really want to get out but can't because it's behind your wall, well Rachel I'm not sacred to cross to the other side and you shouldn't be either."

" Well if you can get a grip go ahead, because I sure can't." I made my way to the door. " See, you Mr. Branson." I waved walking out into the hall making my way to the parking lot.

Paul was waiting in front of like always leaning against the passenger side of the truck a smile lighting his face as soon as he saw me. This boys smiles had the power to make my heart skip beats. I couldn't help but giving him a smile back. He was the only one that I was smiling at now of days.

" How was class?" He asked opening the door for me placing his hand on the small of my back as I climbed into the truck.

I waited till he got in to answer. " It was something to pass the time." I replied with a small smile.

He laughed pulling out of the parking lot headed towards home. I started talking and he listened.

_Not everyone can make the climb but the ones that do are there to stay_


	6. Fallin For You

**Hey everyone I know that this might shock you but yes I am posting another chap and no.. it has'nt been 2 weeks. I'm on a little break from school so I have more time on my hands. More time means I'm doing more stuff.. more stuff means more inspiration, more inspiration means more writting, more writting means more chaps, more chaps means more Rachel and Paul.. which means I should be more reviews...lol.. **

**Anyway as you already know by this point that this chap is in Pauls PoV. Your getting a peek into his home like but please know that you havent seen anything yet. I'm so exicted about everything that's going to happen I just hope that I have people that want to read it. Thanks to everyone that he read, added, review and everything. It really means alot to me. **

**Also for the shy people out there you can review the fic anonymously.. I think.. lol anyway no onese here to judge anyone it's about the writting... all about Twilight!!! thank you SM!!!!!!**

**SO I hope you enjoy and please Review!!!! on with the story......**

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// Set Free //

Fallin For You

Paul PoV

" Paul honey, where are you going in such a hurry dear." Mom was using her best motherly voice so I knew that she had company over.

I stopped dead in the hall-way, knowing that I was about to have to go into the kitchen she mom could live up to her expectations as the high social elite she was. The perfect house wife.

_If they only knew_

" Paul, Sweetie where are you?" My mothers voice got closer as I heard her hills clinking against the wood floor. " There you Are! " She smiled at me telling me with her eyes that I better not make her look bad.

She grabbed me by my hand dragging me into the kitchen where a two other ladies was sitting. I could tell by looking at them that they was really high class people probably some wives of business men in Seattle or something like that. They had to be important to mom or she wouldn't be bringing me in here.

" Ladies, this is my son Paul, he's a senior this year and plans to follow in his fathers foot-steps going to be a freshmen at University of Washington School of Law." She waved her hand in front of me like she was showing a washer machine on the price is right.

They each took there own time to look me over before smiling. I'm glad that I was dressed half-way decent in my black dickies shorts and a white-tee. That was dressed nice to me given that I spent most of my time running around in basketball shorts and shirtless.

" Mother dearest, I really gotta go!" I told her kissing her on the cheek. I made my way to the door before turning around. " Ladies it was nice to meet you." I gave them a quick smile grabbed my keys off the hook and proceed on my way out the back door.

I had plans this evening, I was taking Rachel out this evening. It was a date. Yes, an official date. The very first one might I add. We wasn't going very far only over to Sam and Emily's. Jared and Kim was going to be there it was just going to be a little backyard type of thing. But Emily told me it would be the perfect first date plus Emily couldn't wait to met Rachel.

_Another girl to hit the imprint club _

I wanted her to go so bad I told her that she could even wear her pajamas that she liked so much. Shit, I wouldn't care if she wore a trash bag and animal foil shoes as long as she was with me.

As soon as I pulled up I noticed her sitting on the porch with her head down. I knew that was something was wrong before I even had the truck off. I quickly got out making my way to her.

" Rachel." I whispered nothing knowing what the situation was.

She shock her head, didn't say anything, didn't look up nothing, she just shock her head. I was trying not to go into full panic mode.

_Trying really hard might i add_

" Hey, you gotta talk to me." I said as I sat down beside her partially begging her to let me know what was wrong.

" I can't go out with you tonight Paul, I can't, I tired and I can't." She whispered looking out into the yard.

Here words crushed me. I knew it was too good to be true. I didn't know what to say at that point, all I knew is that now I was trying to keep tears from falling down my face.

_Trying really hard might I add _

" Why?" I asked my voice shaking at the end. I wasn't really sure that I could handle hearing the answer but I had to ask the question.

It was then that she looked up at me. " Paul, I want to go out just not right now okay, I'm not ready to make brand new like nothing ever happened, I'm sorry if I messed up your night and I'll understand if you want to leave since I stood you up and all. Trust me, I'm not the one to hold nothing against anyone." She gave me a small smile before looking back at the yard.

I sat there for a few minutes just breathing, I couldn't even put together thoughts right now, I didn't understand what she was trying to say, Did she not want to go out with me, or was she saying.... HELL I DON"T KNOW!!!

I take it that I was sitting there longer then I thought because I only noticed that the situation was changing when Rachel got up and starched flashing me a quick glance at her wolf-rose.

She looked down at me. " You should go hang-out with your friends because I'm just about to take a shower, write a letter to Becca and go to bed."

I stood up taking the hit that meant she wanted me to go. " Well, I'll see you later." I whispered with my head down.

" Later Paul." Was the last thing I heard before I heard the old screen door slap shut.

_And there you have it Paul and Rachel's first date _

As I drove to Sam and Emily's I thought of what I was going to tell them. ' Rachel decided that she didn't want to go out with me.. so here I am.' As I got to the door I realized that I was just going to go with the truth.

I knocked once before going in. Emily was out of the kitchen so fast with the biggest smile on her face.

" Hey Paul! Where's Rachel?" She asked looking behind me on her way to the door thinking that I might have left her on the porch.

" She didn't come." Was all I said before making my way to the backyard. Sam and Jared looked up at me from the picnic table they was sitting on.

I walked up to them standing right in front of Sam. " I want to tell her and I want to tell her NOW!" I yelled looking Sam in his eyes.

He pushed me back which was just enough to piss me off to the point that I phased. I let the fire rip through me as fast as it could before I knew it I was in form lunging at Sam. He phased as soon as I hit him. I had the upper hand until Sam being the Alpha he is flipped me over bitting at my neck. I knew he wasn't going to kill me but he was gonna show me just why he was Alpha.

**I'M PROUD OF YOU, IT TOOK A WHILE FOR YOU TO DO THAT. YOUR SELF CONTROL IS ALLOT BETTER PAUL., YOU CAN TELL HER.**

Sam thought me to before he phased back, Putting on the shorts Emily had for him taking his spot next to Jared. I was so excited by the order being taken off me I didn't know what to do. Matter of fact I was so happy that I end up laying naked on the ground in Sam's back yard just as Emily was bringing a pair of shorts out for me.

I left soon after that, I drove by Rachel's noticing that the only light in the house was coming from the TV, so I knew that it had to be Billy. My Rachel didn't watch TV at all. She had a hard time sitting through movies too.

I was glad that when I pulled up in the drive-way that mom's company was gone. That meant I would have to put on the big act that she liked to live by. Not to mention the fact that all I had on was shorts.

As soon as I stepped foot in the kitchen Mom was on me. " Paul, the girl's loved you today, saying how handsome you where and how they would like for the daughters to meet you."

I laughed " That's nice mom." I hung my keys up trying to make my way out of the kitchen.

" That son of a bitch that you call a father called." She stated looking me in the eyes.

_Fuck _

" I call him back, did he say anything to do about what he wanted?" I asked knowing that there was a reason she was so upset.

She poured herself a glass of wine. " He said that he and Jill was going to be in Seattle, and he wanted to spend some father and son time with you." She pulled her hair over her shoulder. " I don't know what kind of father and son time your gonna have with that whore he calls wife number two."

_Here we go _

I took a deep breath pulling my arms over my head moving my neck around like I was a boxer warming up for a fight. Every time my dad would call or do anything to have contact with me made me mom mad. The only thing that didn't piss her off that my dad does is filling up her back account every week.

" Paul, I want you to tell him that you can't come when he asks you. I know what he's trying to do and I won't let it happen. Him and that slut are up to no good." Mom ranted on and on.

I was used to it by now, I mean ever since I was 13 mom has been worried about me picking dad over her. I mean she didn't really have a motherly reason it's not that she loved me so much that it would hurt her to see me go, it's the fact that the money would stop if I wasn't here, and mom would end up living like the people that she looked down on. I was her pay check, her free ride in life and she wasn't letting me go for nothing.

There was no limit to the lengths she would go to keep me from even seeing my dad. When I was young and supposed to meet him something would always come up to where I couldn't. Or I would be getting get well soon cards filled with money when I hadn't even been sick. As I got older though it became easier for me to see my dad, Mom couldn't say things the way she used to.

She sat her glass down roughly so that my attention would be back on here. " So what are you going to tell him, you know he's gonna call back in a little while, he wants you Paul." She gave me her mother look, which is a you better not leave me look.

I let out a deep breath. " Look, mom I'm going to see what he wants, I'm not going to pack all my shit and leave okay, I got someone holding me here okay." I gave her a smile kiss on her head as I made my way up to my room.

I knew that she would be content with what I had said, I meant every words of it, If my dad wanted to see me I was going to see him. But there was no way that I was going to leave La'Push. Not now.

I wasn't going to leave La'Push until Rachel Black left La'Push.

_Bottom Line_

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**_Don't 4get to Review....thnks_**


	7. Chapter 7

**hey everyone I thought that i would leave this with you.. hope you like it.. working up to the good stuff jus a little longer.. plze R&R keeping tha note short & sweet. **

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// Set Free //

Chapter 7

Rachel PoV

" Okay it's my go.. who was your first kiss?" I asked smiling brighter then I have smiled in about a year.

" Tracy Clark!" He answered with-out even having to think about it. " Who was your first kiss?"

I laughed out loud, " Embry Call!" I laughed putting my head down knowing that he was about to clown me over it. Shit everyone that knows about it does.

" You fucking kissed Embry?" Paul yelled.

" Yeah, but it was on a dare it didn't mean anything I kissed Quil right after if that makes you feel better." I don't know why I was explaining it to him, it just bothered me that he was upset about it.

He looked me in the eyes and visibly clamed down it was amazing really because he was just so mad and one look at me he was fine.

" Okay, what's the longest relationship that you've had?" I asked countering the little game we was playing

" Kristen Myers, we was together for 3 years ." He replied shifting closer to me.

" Why did you break up?" I asked before I could stop myself.

_Why did I care in the first place _

" Om...well I thought she was the one, she wasn't and then I found out that she really wasn't the one, no where close to it." He smiled. " What about you?" He held my eyes for a moment causing me to get lost and forget about what he had asked me.

" Giving Up Me'chell?" He asked rising his eyebrow flashing me a sly smile.

I pushed him playfully. " Uh...no Rachel Me'chell Black does'nt give up." I used my about business tone. " My longest relationship was with Nathan Sproll I dated him my last two years of High School, and into the second seamster of collage. So about 2 years a half." I stated matter of factly.

" Was you in love with him?" He asked pulling me up looking in my eyes.

I don't know what it was, if it was the way that his eyes could pierce through me, or the fact that it had been a long time since I've bonded with a male, but something made me place my lips gently on his, holding them there just long enough for him to know that I meant it as a kiss before I pulled away.

" It's my question Paul." I whispered looking down at his arms that was holding me up. " Have you ever been in love?" I truly asked him.

He laid me back down before running his hand through his hair. It had grown out allot since I first met him. I also knew that he was trying to think of what to say. A few things that I've learned about Paul is that he is a straight forward person. He doesn't sugar coat things. Which means if Paul has to think about an answer, it's something that means allot to him. Something he wants to say just right.

He let out a breath. " I have never really been in love, I mean told it to a girl before, but till a little while ago I realize that I have never been in real love."

I just stared at him. Not sure of what he meant when he said until a while ago. I take it that he met someone that he fell in love with. " Do you have a girlfriend?" I spat out not meaning the dramatic tone I used.

He laughed. Really really hard. " I guess I got a girlfriend!" He laughed.

I on the other hand didn't see anything funny about it. " How the fuck do you guess you got a girlfriend, I mean something like that is a yes and no kind of thing." I yelled rolling my eyes.

_What the fuck is I guess? _

He pulled me up to sitting a position. " Rachel, I was talking about you. I was being silly you know your a girl and I'm your friend. You know that middle school sharp comeback kinda thing... I don't know.. it was pretty lame.. then again I was pretty lame in middle school so I would think of something like that." He rambled

I laughed at him. I couldn't help it he was so cute when he rambled, Which is not something that he does often not as much as I do.

_Hell, I spend my life in a big giant ramble. _

" It's my turn, I get to go twice since you asked two questions back to back." He laughed sitting on the sand resting his back against the log he'd been sitting on. I laid down to propping my head on my hands so that I could look at him.

" Better make then good because after this I gotta go home." I smiled at him.

I hated the fact that I had a curfew. That was strongly unforced Dad had bearly let me out of the house to come to the beach. If it wouldn't have been for him going fishing I would still be sitting at the house looking at him. His words to the point was. " You can go because I'd rather have you with him then by yourself."

_So here I am. _

Paul still hadn't said anything he just looked off into space, I guess he was making sure that he picked the best questions to ask me. I sat patiently glaceing over his body a few times since his attention was else where. I was just coming to the conclusion that Paul with a shirt might be a little bit hotter then Paul with-out a shirt.

Paul jumped, which caused me to move closer to him. It sacred me and my first reaction was to get closer to him.

" It's okay Rachel, nothing is happening just a reaction to a action." He soothed me. " Anyway, on with the questions! Why a wolf in a rose?" He asked.

Damn. it had been a long time since someone has asked me about my tattoo.

" Well the rose is the same rose that she had tattooed on her ankle, Becca and I used to think it was so cool that our mom had a tattoo. The wolf face the rose makes is my coulter. Quieleute Pride you know." I laughed. " The wolf reminded me of my dad, it runs in our blood. So I got a tribute to my mother, my father, and my family as a whole. I like to think of it as my family crest." I stated bringing my hand down to touch it.

I brought my eyes back to him just in time to catch the smile that crossed his face. I smiled back at him letting him know that his smile made me smile too. Which is the full truth, when it's just me and Paul he makes me smile. That's one thing that I really liked about him.

" I thinks it cool that you got something that means allot to you, I never would have thought that it stood for your mom and dad." He was rambling again.

He has rambled twice in on night, something was clouding his mind and all of me wanted to know what that something was.

He cleared his throat. " Okay, so what you doing for your 21st birthday?"

I sat up thinking about it for the first time. Shit I hadn't even though about my birthday. " I think I got class that night so I don't know what I'm doing." I replied thinking about what I was going to do on my 21st.

" Do you want to do something, after your class and all?" He asked me looking down.

I smiled at him. " Paul you just asked your last question, so the next time we do this it's my turn but I better start heading home, don't want my dad to report me as a missing person!" I laughed.

When we got to my porch we looked into each others eyes,

" Well, I guess I'll see you later. " He said moving a step back.

I smiled at him opening the screen door. " Yeah, it was fun tonight Paul. Thanks." I was just going to go into the house but decided to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before I went inside. I watched him through the window as he walked across the street into the woods.

_By the time I laid down I was so tired but was happy to have a person like Paul in my life _


	8. Mess with my head p1

**Hey everyone!!! I hope everyone is doing well.. I thought that I would post another chap given that Im going back to school here soon. YAY!!! anyway thinks to everyone that has faved this, review, and read this. Thank you so much. anyway here is the new chap...lol... hope u like it. R&R pleze**

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// Set Free //

Mess With My Head P.1

Paul PoV

" Paul, It's great to see you again Son." My dad said as he embraced me.

" Yeah." Was the only thing that I could say back to him without him realizing how uncomfortable his embrace made me.

" I didn't think your mother was going to let you come." He laughed letting me into the room.

I was thinking over in my head a response to his statement but before I had the chance my train of thought was interpreted.

" Well, you've became a big boy!" Jill squalled as she made her way over to wrap me in a hug.

" Yeah, you know almost 18." I said as I pulled out of her embrace. I gave her a small smile so that I wouldn't hurt her feelings as much.

My mom would be screaming at the top of her lungs if she knew that Jill hugged me. When I was younger it was against the rules to be friendly to Jill, not that I was ever intentionally rude to her or anything but I didn't treat her the way that my mother had told me to. To be all the way for real about it I don't see nothing wrong with the lady. I mean she's been with my dad as long as I can remember, She's always been more then nice to me and even got me things that my dad wouldn't. I couldn't hate the woman because my mom did.

" Paul, I am so happy that your here, I'm really glad that I didn't buy you any clothes because they sure wouldn't have fit." She laughed.

I smiled at her picking up my bag from the floor making my way into the room that was going to be mine for the remainder of the weekend. I put my things in the draws. I had this thing with things being neat. It's kinda strange for a guy but I cant stand things being out of place. When the whole room was to where I want it I laid down taking this chance to think about why I had came here in the first place.

_Rachel's birthday present _

I don't have a clue what I'm going to get her but I thought that since I knew that most of this weekend was going to consist of shopping and sending my dad's money I would just go ahead and get her gift here.

" Son, you feel like eating?" My dad called from the other side of the door.

_Hell Yeah I felt like Eating does he not know who I am _

" Yeah!" I called as I made my way to the door.

We ordered in given that no one felt like going out any where. It's crazy the type of treatment you get when you got money, I never really thought about it but people treat my dad different because he's a lawyer. A well known one might I add. He fights big cases, cases that make Nancy Grace. Anyway the reason for my shock steams from the now 2 buffet carts that sat in the middle of the room, Filled with food from all around the world, There was Mexican, German, Chinese, and American.

I ate hella good by the time that I was done I was so full that getting up to put my plate away was too much for me, so I just sat with it laying on my leg. Jill watched me with an amused look on her face. I take it that she hadn't seen me eat like this is all her years of knowing me. Matter of fact this was her first time seeing me since I went wolf.

" Paul would you like me to take your plate while you call your mom?" she asked me as she stood up to take her own plate.

" Shit." I hissed before pulling my phone out quickly dialing The Black house.

_I forgot to call Rachel _

Every time the phone would ring my heart would beat faster, then I would start to worry about why it was taking so long for someone to answer the phone. What if something has happened, something went wrong and I wasn't there. I was just getting ready to hang up and call everyone in La'Push when the phone stopped ringing.

" Hello!" Rachel asked breathlessly?

_Why was she breathless _

" Are you okay?" I asked slapping myself in the head for not saying hello first.

_Good going St'Vincent _

" I'm fine who the hell is this?" She asked. I could hear her smile through the phone so I knew that she knew who it was.

" Who do you think it is?" I whispered shyly.

She laughed. " I think that it's this guy I know." She giggled

I laughed happy with the way that this was going. " Do you know allot of guys?" she laughed.

" Yeah, I know a few but only one of them matter!" She stated matter of faclty. " I take it that you made it okay?" She asked still laughing

" Yeah, I'm here sorry I didn't call you a while ago but I got caught up with family shit." I explained to her while I laid back on the couch.

" It's okay, I was just outside with dad anyway that's what took me so long to get to the phone." I could still hear her smile.

" Okay well I'm not trying to keep you so I'll talk to you when I get back?" I questioned?

" Can you call me back later tonight I...I really wanna talk to you...if... you want I mean." If I would have been looking at her she would have been blushing.

" Yeah, I'll call you whenever you want me too." I blurted out before I had the chance to even think about it.

She laughed. " Okay well talk to you then." She said before she hung up the phone.

_Wow! she wanted me to call her later _

I was so happy with the way that conversation had went that I had to do a little wiggle dance. It's something that I've been doing since I was little when good things happen to me. Right after I do the dance something bad happens to throw me right back into normal Paul mood. But right now I was so excited and happy that it the world could come to an end and I wouldn't even be upset about it.

" Well, son your too happy for that to have been your mother so who is this lady that has you so happy?" My dad asked smiling at me.

I collected myself before I looked up at him. Jill was sitting on his lap and they looked perfectly happy together. Better then him and my mom ever looked. Then again I can't really remember them ever being together when I was younger. Looking at them made me realize that's what I wanted in life. I wanted to be successful , have a home, and be able to take vacations with the love of my life. With my Rachel.

" Well, she must really be something because he stop thinking about her long enough to say anything." Jill laughed kissing my dad on the cheek.

Once again I was pulled out of my thoughts I had to say something but I really didn't know what to say. I couldn't really put into words what was going on between Rachel and myself. I mean I could tell them that she's the love of my life but we aren't dating, haven't even talked about dating or anything that would point in that direction. I could tell them that I spend all my time thinking about her making sure that shes safe, That some times when I can't sleep at night I sit outside of her window.

_Stalker _

" Oh.. it was just a friend that's all nothing like ya'll are thinking." I stated looking down.

They both laughed. " Nothing like that YET son" dad laughed before standing Jill up and then standing up himself.

I watched them make a drink before heading to there room. I knew that they was just sitting around having drinks and that I could have gone in there but I didn't really want to. I didn't really wanna do anything but think about Rachel and count down the minutes until I could call her back.

_She didn't tell me a time come to think of it _

I deiced that I would have a drink myself. Not that it was really going to do much for me now, But hell it beat the hell out of sitting here doing nothing. After my first drink I couldn't stop so by the time that dad had came out to say goodnight I was hiding the empty bottle behind the cushion of the couch.

" Goodnight!" I called smiling so that it wouldn't see that I as up to anything.

He looked at me kinda funny smiled and made his way back into his room. It wasn't even the fact that I was scared that I would get in trouble. It's just that something that people don't know wont hurt em.

_Parental words of wisdom is not something I wanna hear at this moment  
_

I pulled out my phone to look at the time when it started to ring. I looked down at the name and seen that it was Rachel. I flipped my phone open quickly.

" Hello!" I said happily.

_There was a pause. _

" Paul....There's something that I wanna tell you...And I'm not sure how your gonna take it." She whispered into the phone.

" You can tell me anything." I coaxed her hoping that she would feel better about what she had to say.

" Paul I...I.............

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**UH-OH!!!!! R&R...lol... part 2 coming as soon as I get a few reviews.... dont be 2 mad at me.. i luv u..lol... R&R**


	9. Telling Secrets pt one

**hey everyone know that it has been a while and i just thought that i wold get another chap up so that i can make my readers happy tonight. Om if you don't already know i have been working my ass off on my other fic FearLess which is coming a long way and im proud of it so after reading this go check it out if you havent already. I have to next chap of this ready to go but will only post if i get 6 review... so R&R

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**

~ Set Free ~

**Telling Secrets pt. One**

**Rachel PoV**

_As I picked up the phone and dialed his number that there would be no turning back. The inner fight between if i should or shouldn't would be lost in a few seconds... and when I heard his voice I knew.  
_  
" Hello!" I knew he was smiling by the way it sounded. It flowed through me like sun rays penetrating deeply through my body.

_Okay here it is... _

" Paul, There's something that I wanna tell you. And I'm not sure how your gonna take it." I whispered kinda scared that I was already in this deep.

" You can tell me anything." From his tone i knew that he really meant it.

" Paul, I...I..." Shit I couldn't say anything. It was like my mind went black and then there was nothing.

" Rachel! Are you okay?" He asked like if I was there was nothing that he could do about it anyway. He was in Seattle for the weekend.

" I miss you." I whispered.

It seemed like hours before he said anything. The whole time I was tripping out wondering why I even had to say anything in the first place.

" Me too." He sighed.

Strange emotion over come me, but I knew at that point that Paul wasn't something that was a stupid crush. And it wasn't just because he saved my life. It's at if it was fate that we had been brought together in the first place. That my life was meant to be so involved in his.

" So what are you doing?" I asked as I sat on the bar stole under the phone.

He laughed. " Thinking about something." He said sounding deep in thought.

I didn't really know if he wanted me to push the issue, really I didn't really care what he was doing as long as he was on the phone with me. Even though I don't really know what to say and there's more silence then there is talking. Fact number one about me. I'm not the girl that has relationships. I've always been a one night stand kinda girl. Never got to close to anyone.

Aiding in the fact that I was totally clueless as to how this was supposed to go. Wasn't the best at talking on the phone just ask my family.

" Your birthday is next weekend!" He said excitedly suddenly filled with life.

" Yeah, I heard." I stated sarcastic rolling my eyes.

_No, shit _

" I didn't mean it like that." He stated in a more serious tone.

" Sorry." I whispered putting my head down.

" I miss you though." He whispered sending chills up my span for the millionth time tonight.

" So how's things with your dad?" I asked trying to get away from the tuner the end of the last one had the chance to take. Which would be me confessing my love for him. Love that was so middle school that I'm even ashamed that I have it.

" Same as it always does. I'm here and he's in the other room. The only reason that I still come on these stupid trips is because it's like a get away from everything."

I giggled. " What type of things are you trying to escape? Huh? You have a pretty good life expect getting caught up with a girl like me." I said with a smile.

It was true Paul's life seemed pretty good. He never looked worried when he was around me unless I was down about something. He never complained about anything. If I didn't know that no one could have the perfect life except for Becca, I would belive that he lived the total issue free life.

_No that's only Becca..sorry _

He laughed darkly. " You don't even know the half of it it." I picked up tones of hate, anger, sadness, and at the very end love.

It was a very strange mix of emotions and the three years of sociology kicked in and I wanted to know more. Only it wasn't like the doctor wanting to know about the client it was like I needed to know everything about him on a deeper, much deeper personal level.

" Why don't you tell me about it." I whispered not really sure if I should ask or not.

" I'll tell you this, Getting caught up with you is the best thing that's ever happened in my life." He stated. " As long as I got that the rest of the shit don't even matter."

Even though his answer was super sweet and I should have been nine times over the moon just by the fact that he seems to think having me in life is the best thing. Absurdly this guy didn't really have it all together in his head. If he thought that I was the best thing in his life. Or like I once thought he must have a perfect life so me being in it only evens it out a bit. A little bit of crazy to a whole lotta great goes along way.

_Not that I would know. I only have the crazy gave up looking for the great _

Exhaling a deep breath. " Well..I'm really happy that you think so much of me." I giggled at the end realizing how stupid, cheesy, and school girl it came out.

" I think of you every second of everyday." He blurted out of now where before laughing.

I laughed with him, and it was great us just laughing together only it made me wish that he was here with me and I could be looking at him.

" So.. What are we doing for my birthday?" I asked hoping that he was already thinking about spending it with me.

The way he laughed let me know very funny he thought my question was. And right then as if I had never left I got pulled back into reality. I was once again sitting in the kitchen of the place I had been trying to escape my whole life.

I came back to knowing who I was again. Back to being Rachel Me'chell Black the girl of nothing yet the queen of everything.

Which always and will for ever be nothing but a hard time and very unhappy endings. I felt the tears burning my eyes begging for me to out them. Once again shoved into the dark abbess that's my reality. The endless re-run that would never stop playing. Over and fucking over. And I hated it. Hated every little bit of it. The nagging..nagging...bugging.

" I GOTTA GO!" I yelled into the phone before I slammed it into the cradle.

_Stupid old ass phone _

I jumped off the stroll knocking it over on my way to my room. All the way down the hall I knocked over everything that was with in reach. Yet It still didn't make me feel any better. As I slammed my door shut I made my way to the closet. The same closet that I had shared with Becca so many years ago. The closet where I unpacked all my stuff into the moment I got back to La' Push have ever long ago that was.

What's the point in keeping up in days when time doesn't mean a thing to you. It's not like I had anything important to look forward to. Or had any plans other then being a prisoner inside myself. A girl who couldn't keep it together long enough to even talk on a phone. Let alone have a relationship with anyone. A girl so stupid to even belive that anyone is ever going to be good enough for me. Or that I will find myself to be good enough for.

I pulled the closet door open so hard that It snapped right off it's hinge. I pushed it to the side covering my ears as it fall bashing into the wall and judging from my view busted a hole into it. Not that I really gave a damn, I was looking for something else. The thing that I didn't realize but have been looking for since I woke up in the hospital bed.

I was looking for my get-a-way. The great escape. The person that I'm meant to be. The Rachel I am when I like myself. Where I can be myself and love who that person is.

Digging in the inside pocket of my duffel bag I felt it. As my hand wrapped around the bottle I knew that everything was about to change. I was more then ready.

_As I felt the pills slide down my throat as if being guided my some unseen force I felt my body relax. I laid down pressing my face against the cool wood floor closing my eyes peacefully waiting for the pleasure to enter my system. Following through my blood to connect with my mind. Leaving me floating some where on the outside._

The only way I knew that I could tell everything with out being judged, without having to worry about enplaning, no hoeing for understanding. I knew that this was the place for me and no where else would ever work.


	10. Mess With My Head pt 2

**Good morning to all. Thought that I would take some time to post a new chap. I got this great review from one of my readers and it really changed the whole way that I thought about this fic. My reviews are real low for this and it kinda set me back a little bit becasue I think this is one of the best fics that I have worked on. **

**SO the fact that my reviews are so low kinda got me down so i thought that i would post becasue I said that if i got six reviews I would so im not really sure if I got six but the ones that I did get was good ones that really meant a lot to me and touched my heart. Also later today I will be posting the playlist to my different fics so that everyone will be able to get a feel of whats going on. **

**On my playlist is what I think they would be listening to when all this was going on. Kinda of like a life sound track. So I will be doing that. ANd if anyone knows a site where I can post my pics of what everything is looking like, my playlist and anything else that has to do with my fics please let me know so that I can have just one link on my page that takes you to everything. **

**Getting something set up like that is my mission today so if someone would help me out I will be for-ever happy and will owe you a chap..lol I hope that everyone has the best day ever. **

**Remember to R&R, not just this fic but every fic you read it really means a lot to us who write this for ya'll... So pleze R&R and check the profile for the updates I was talking about. Thanks, **

**Sweetly

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**

**~ Set Free ~**

**Mess With my Head pt. Two**

**Paul PoV**

" Did you have a good time with Mr. Asshole?" Mom pounced on me as soon as I got in the door. " Must have because you sure didn't call me at all."

" Yeah sorry." I huffed as I made my way up the to my room. She wasn't upset that I didn't call her, she could really give a damn less about me. I knew that this was just her taking out the issue she had with me going in the first place.

" Sorry! That's all you have to say!" She yelled three steps behind me. I could smell the wine on her breath and from how strong it was I knew that she must have been drinking the whole weekend. Not really a shocker that's her thing. Drink wine, being better then everyone else, and fighting with whoever will fight with her.

I slammed the bedroom door locking it so that she wouldn't come in here. Really I shouldn't even be in the house as unstable as I've been. Yeah, phased after Rachel hung up on me. Barely made it out of the hotel. I was trying to keep from phasing now because I didn't want everyone in my head right now. That was the worst thing that could happen right now.

" OPEN THIS DOOR! SO HELP ME GOD PAUL I WILL BEAT IT THE FUCK DOWN!" She screamed as she beat on the door with all she had. I knew the door wasn't going any where but that didn't stop me from getting pissed off.

" Go the fuck away Mom!" I yelled as I felt the shaking start.

_1,2,3,4,5,6 _

" Okay!" She yelled as she stormed away. I heard her go down the stairs and the front door open.

I zoned out after that not really caring about where she was headed to or what she was doing. Sitting on my bed I pulled my phone out my pocket and dialed Rachel's number. I hadn't called since the night that she basically told me that she had feelings for me. But she didn't actually say it in them words.

It rung three times before she answered

" Hello." My heart skipped a beat hearing her voice.

" Hey, I'm home." I whispered feeling as if I had lost my voice.

" So, you gonna come see me?" She asked shyly.

_Damn.. she was hot _

" Om... I'm not really sure if I can I might have pa...work tonight." I said quickly hoping she wouldn't catch my slip up.

" Oh." She said sadly. " I guess I'll just see you when ever you have time." She said in a hurry before she hung up.

**BAMM!!!! BAMM!!!! BAMM!!!! **

The sound of splitting wood filled the house as I watched the head of a hammer pieced through the door one loud hit after another.

**BAMM!!!! BAMM!!!! BAMM!!!!**

I jumped off the bed pulling what was left of the door open and grabbed the hand that mom had the hammer in pushing her up against the wall as to restrain her.

" What the fuck is wrong with you?" I yelled as I let her go pulling the hammer out of her hand.

She lunged at me landing on me with all her force which didn't even make me sway but she ended up sitting on the floor on her ass. I gave her one last look before I took off for the door.

There was no way that I was going to make it another minute in this house, there was no way that I was going to be able to hold it together. I was out the door and into the woods before I even had a second thought about it.

" Yeah run away... just like your dad.. Your just like him a useless waste of air and I hate you." Mom yelled from the door.

I couldn't phase, I wouldn't phase. I didn't have room in my head for anyone. I couldn't do it right now so I ran. Running was never an issue because even in human form I could still run faster then the average 17 teen year old boy. I would still be running when they done stopped for air.

_So I was running. On the way to now where. Sometime's I just don't understand. Like I really don't fucking get it _

Did she really have to do shit like that? Was it really that serious, that she had to beat down my door. It's shit like that, that pisses me off. The fact that I never have to do anything to her for her to fly off the handle.

_And people wonder why I'm the way I am _

Who ever said that it get's easier in time fucking lied because I have been dealing with shit like this all my life and ain't shit got better. No, I get pissed off after my mother about kills me and I phase. That's what I get to turn into a fucking wolf. I guess the muscles and the build is my better in time. Still can't do anything about it, because now unlike then I can take care of myself, yet if I do my mother would be dead.

_So much for life...moving on now _

I slowed my pace to a quick jog, the reason that I couldn't phase is because I had to prove that I had it all together. It's not that anyone has said anything it's just I know that I have to prove myself I'm the bad wolf. The angry one. If I can't keep it together then I can't be with Rachel. And being without Rachel is something that I can't do. There's no way I would lose my mind.

All Billy needs to do is find out about one slip up and it's over. His word is like law around here and alpha order is law. Sam has been really cool though, but I know when it comes down to it what he says is what I do. That's why I've been trying everything that I know to keep it under control . I count to 20, breath deeply, all that. I'm trying if that's the only thing I'm doing.

What's funny is that they shouldn't ever worry about me hurting Rach. I could never hurt her because when I'm with her there is nothing ever wrong. I might get upset but if I'm around her all I have to do is look and all is right with the world. The only person in this world that could stop me from doing anything. They should really worry about when she isn't around.

_That's when I have all my fucked up issues _

I have late night patrol tonight with Embry tonight, which I'm kinda grateful for, that boy has issues of his own so he wont focus on mine. And who knows we might even get a few thoughts for good ol Jake.

_Yay!_

My feelings towards Jacob Black haven't changed none. Won't get any better when he finds out that I imprinted on his sister. I ain't scared of him though we can still fight it out like we always do. Wouldn't change anything but I'm always down for some anger releases.

I was going to go to Rachel's, I still had time to burn and there was no way that I was going back home. I wasn't going to go back home for a few days. Sam and Emily's couch is where I would be for the rest of the week most likely. It's nice to have somewhere to go now. I mean I could always go to Jared but that was when I was younger and it wasn't that easy getting away back then. People don't ask as many questions now when I show up to crash on the couch anymore. My mom don't show up the morning after beating on the door screaming for me or come to school making a scene.

_So I guess something did get better after all _

**//**//**//**//**

I knocked on the door taking a step back to wait.

Yeah I came to Rachel's, I was excited about seeing her, happy that I was going to feel at ease after not seeing her for the whole weekend. I was going to be able to keep it together. I heard her foot steps making there way to the door. Billy must not have been home because he was always the first one to the door if he was here. Either way it didn't matter I was going to stay until it was time for me to go to patrol.

I watched the door come open slowly it was almost in slow motion working it way up to the main attraction.

_My angel _

My breathtakingly beautiful angel. I saw breath taking because when I saw her it was hard to breath. She was wearing a simple pair of gray boy shorts, spaghetti strap shirt that came just cam low enough to drive a guy crazy. Her long ebony hair was down following all around her. She looked bright, happy glowing almost. As I looked it into her hazel brown eyes pulling me in deep.

" Paul." She whispered with a smile. Like I had made her day just by being in front of her.

" Hey." I said using the same tone that she had. I broke eye contact and then looked back into her eyes this time letting mine melt into hers.

" Dad's not here, but I was just sitting her drawing listening to music." She told me as she held the door open, letting me know that she wanted me to come in.

" That's cool." I said as I made my way in letting her close the door behind me. She was right she had been drawing there was scratch books all over the table in front of the couch and an open on laying on a pillow on the arm of the chair. She must have sat it there to answer the door because she had clearly been sitting on the couch that where all her stuff was.

" Sorry the place is such a mess, dad's been gone all day and I didn't feel like doing anything other then mess around with this stuff." She said picking up everything is a hurry.

I stood up grabbing her by her arm before she could pick up anything else. " You don't have to do that." I whispered listen to her heart beat a little bit faster.

She gazed in my eyes before looking down at where I was holding her arm.

I pulled away quickly. " Sorry." I said in a hushed tone before sitting back down.

She smiled before taking her things into the kitchen and making her way back. She sat down in the chair pulling her scratch book into her lap looking over whatever it was that she was working on. I didn't say anything just watched her wondering how god could make such a perfect person. No other girl that I have ever seen looked anything like her. Yeah she has a twin but I bet there is something different between them even if it only takes me to see it.

" So, How was your weekend?" She asked before looking up at me catching me studying her.

I smiled. "Happy it's over because I get to look at you."

Something about the way that she looked at me made me want to pull her into my arms and tell her just how she really made me feel. I wanted to tell her that I would do anything to make sure that I could always see her. That she's the best thing that has ever happened to me.

" You're really a great guy Paul, don't let anyone ever bring you down." She stated matter of factly like it was the purest thing she's ever said.

" If you say so." I whispered knowing that there was a good chance that she wouldn't even hear me.

" Really." She smiled closing her book dropping it on the floor besides her.

" What about you? How was your weekend?" I asked realizing that I hadn't asked her yet.

She rolled here eyes before letting out a small laugh. " The same as it every weekend, only I didn't have anyone to help me pass the time." She said throwing me a smile.

_I guess she needed me as much as I needed her_

" Well. I guess we missed each other a lot then." I said seriously.

She nodded her head laying her head against the back of the chair closing her eyes. I followed her lead letting myself fall into the back of the couch. And this was what I needed. I didn't have to be talking to Rachel, as long as I was with her I was good. Everything was good.

See how twisted my life is, I got one person that I care about telling me that she hates me. And the other one telling me what a great person I am. Fucked up thing is either of them really even know who I am.  
_  
And once again everything is totally messing with me head _


	11. Breaking News

**Hello My Paul & Rachel Fans**

**If you are reading this fic then you know that I have my own view on Paul and Rachel. Well I though that I would make something so that you all could see what I'm seeing in my writting. So me being the girl that I am have made a slide show which will show you guys my view of things. I put a lot of work into this and I think that everyone will be very happy with the outcome. Please note that I have kept Paul the same as he is in New Moon becasue lets face it the boy ****is "SEXY!!!" ****There is also a pic of what MY RACHEL looks like. I don't really know who the girl in the pic is but she best fits what I had in mind for MY RACHEL. **

**There is also a little peek at the next chap of this fic.. ( wink,wink) and a lot of things that I wanted to bless you all with. Know that I only mean to please not to make anyone upset or do any kind of copyright crap. This is just me having fun and doing what I like to do. So I hope that everyone enjoy's and can see things more better and that this fic becomes personal to you. **

**A big thanks to everyone that has left a review, added to there favs or has read for that matter. There will be a new chap up before the end of the week. Feel free to pm about the show or wait till the next chap to tell me what you think. I want to hear from you. Thanks for the support , and here's my gift to everyone that is reading. **

**http://s736(DOT)photobucket(DOT)com/albums/xx10/Sweetlybroken33/-Set%20Free-/?action=view¤t=57bc8994(dot)pbw**

**If the link above don't work I will have it on my profile**

**-Sweetly-**


	12. 21 Candles

**HELLO TO ALL... WOW!!! THIS CHAP IS LONG AND TOOK ME ALL BUT TWO WEEKS TO WRITE. I HAD A BAD CASE OF CWS.. CAN'T WRITE SHIT SO THIS CHAP GOT PUT OFF TO BE WORKED ON OFF AND ON UNTIL I GOT IT TOGETHER. I WORKED REALLY HARD TO GET THIS DONE TODAY SO THAT I CAN START ON THE NEXT CHAP BUT I HAD TO GET A FEW THINGS DONE FIRST. **

**I KNOW THAT THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAP THAT I HAVE THIS WHOLE FIC AND I HOPE THAT YOU GUYS DONT GET TOO UPSET WITH ME BCASUE OF IT. THE REASON THAT THIS CHAP IS LONG AS HELL IS BECASUE I HAD ALOT OF THINGS THAT I HAD TO SAY AND I HAD TO GET OUT BEFORE WE CAN MOVE ON. THE NEXT CHAP IS GOING TO BE KINDA LIKE BOOK TWO INSTEND OF STARTING A WHOLE NEW FIC. THE WHOLE CONSCEPT OF THIS FIC IS BEING SET FREE. FREE FROM WORRY FREE FROM EVERYTHING THATS EVER HELD YOU DOWN... **

**SO IMA SHUT UP AND LET YOU GUYS READ ALREADY READ END NOTE.

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**~ Set Free ~**

**21 Candles**

**~Rachel PoV~**

_" Happy Birthday Rachel." She said as she uncovered my eyes to the winter wonderland that was in front of me._

_" Wow, mommy there is so much snow!" I screamed so excited because it didn't snow on Becc's birthday but did on mine._

_" Since it's your birthday we're going to make cookies and then play in the snow build you a birthday princess snow queen." She said as she kissed both my cheeks before pulling me into a big mommy hug that made me feel warm all over._

_" You give the best hugs mommy." I said as I squeezed her as hard and as long as I could. " I never wanna let go." I mumbled into her shoulder as she held me closer._

_" I will never let you sweetie." She whispered into my hair._

_And I knew that I would always be able to get the best mommy hugs..._

**//**//**//**//**

_That was the last birthday that I ever spent with her _

It was January 21st six in the morning and here I am watching the rain running down the front of the big picture window in the living room. The same window that mom had showed me all the snow from so many years ago.

It was my 21st birthday today given that's why I was up so early. It's not that I was expecting something great to happen or anything it's just a habit I picked up when my mom was still alive. On your birthday you would get up early and mom would do something really special with you before everyone else got up. She always made you feel so special that it would set your whole day to end up being the best birthday you ever had.

That year was the best birthday it tops all the others that I've had since and that I will ever have. I haven't spent a sober birthday since I was 13 the few before that I just remember dad trying to make it the best he could for me but it never made me feel any better. When I got to my teen years I would spend every birthday at the Clearwater's Leah would steal her dad's liquor and we would have my birthday party just the two of us.

I would get wasted and cry myself to sleep. Like I have done every birthday since my mom has died. Every year it never changes I cry myself to sleep. Because out of all days of the year I miss her most today. Being in this house makes it so much harder. I haven't spent a birthday here in years. Never thought that I would ever spend one here again.

I guess I was wrong, isn't shocking I've been wrong about a lot of things. To many things to name but just know the list goes on and on. I don't care though, sounds really bad but I really don't give a damn. And I don't give a damn about not giving a damn. That's just the way it is. Take it that's why I'm up at six in the morning. Haven't really been to sleep in about 3 nights. Not that dad has noticed because I've played it off every nicely.

It even shocks me that I have been so high these past few days and hasn't anyone noticed. I just draw in my book and mind my business. I've only taken three pills and I have a whole bottle so I would say that I'm not getting to carried away. Not too carried away because I'm still thinking about my her.

I hate thinking about her. I wish that I could be like Jacob and not have really known her, he kinda got the good end of it all it's always been dad as long as he can really remember. I used to try to make his day special but they never turned out that well. Not as well as mom wouldn't have done for her baby boy. I think that's why I love my little brother so much, he was her baby the person that spent the most time with her before she passed.

After she was gone Becca got stuck up and I hated her so I spent all my time taking care of Jacob, making sure that everything was perfect in his life. I will always love and support my little brother and nothing will ever come between that. My relationship with my twin sister is no existent. I didn't call her yesterday, no birthday wishes from me she gets everything so wants anyway so what a birthday wish from me matter. I wasn't expecting any from her either so that was the end of that.

I laid my head against the cool glass of the window as my thoughts faded back to the last birthday that I spent with my mom. My mommy, I felt the tears as they fell from my eyes making no effort to wipe them away. There was no use in it there would just be more to replace them later anyway.

What a perfect way to start the day that was supposed to be the best day of my life. A girl only turns 21 once, I was finally a real legal adult that can officially gamble in Vegas, by any alcoholic beverage that I wish and really do what ever in the hell I want to the full extent of it. Yet all I wanted to do was lay here and die.

" Rachel, are you up?" My dad whispered from making his way to the kitchen.

I didn't answer him just laid down deeper into the couch so that he would think I was still sleep. I didn't want him to ask why I was up and why I was crying on top of it all. I hate explaining my emotions to people, because no matter what I say they never seem to get that telling me it's all going to okay doesn't work and is one of the biggest lies you can tell in my book. I don't need peoples pity.

People to feel bad for me because of the things that has happened in my life. I'm not trying to be treated like a special case, because I'm not special never have been and never will be. I don't expect for people to understand.

" Good morning daddy." I whispered opening my eyes really slow acting as if I had just got up.

He wheeled himself into the living room with a big smile. " Happy Birthday Sweetie." He said as he held his arms out for a hug.

I got up and made my way over to him wrapping him in a hug. It had been so long since I hugged him that I didn't know how really good it could feel.

" I love you Rachel." He whispered kissing my hair.

" I loved you too daddy." I replied as I pulled away from him so that I could stretch my back.

Daddy went back into the kitchen as I made my way to my bedroom. Okay so the start of this birthday wasn't the best but I'm sure that a few little pills will make it a lot better. I thought about it for a second before I popped them in my mouth. Really, I was really messing up but on the other hand as long as I had it together no one would ever find out.

I had been clean long enough that they really didn't drug test me that much any more and the pills only stayed in your system for three days so I was in the clear on that. I wasn't going to have another issue like I had when I first got here either, I'm still not really sure why that happened. But trust me it wasn't going to happen again. The best thing about all this is that since I haven't used in a while it didn't take that much to get me higher then I had ever been before.

The feeling was unexplained, It's sorta like meeting back up with an old friend that you haven't seen in a while, and your filled with so much excitement that you really feel like nothing in your life could be better then that moment. To be jolting, so far above everyone else that no one can reach high enough to touch you. It was love, beauty all wrapped in one big giant bubble that kept filling with wonderfulness. The sky was the limit and I was reaching far and beyond the call of duty.

" Rachel?" Dad knocked at the door pulling out of whatever world I was drifting to.

I jumped up off the bed, shoving the pill bottle under the pillow before I opened the door. with the biggest smile that I could manage.

" Yes Daddy." I answered sweetly.

He looked at me as if he was reading me trying to feel the emotions I was having. Trying to get a touch on me.

He cleared his throat. " Rachel, You really don't know how happy it makes me to have you home on your birthday. It feels like all of my kids are just growing up, going there own ways and leaving there poor dad to watch everything happen. But, I am proud of you more then you will ever know, you have became a beautiful young lady, your mother would be very proud." His tone was sincere and his words cut me deeply.

" Thank-you daddy that really means a lot coming from you." I whispered trying to hold back my tears.

He laughed before pulling me into yet another hug. " I love you Rachel." He smiled. " Now don't cry because birthday girls shouldn't be crying." I laughed as I pulled away.

" I love you too daddy." I said as I made my way to the bathroom.

**//**//**//**//**// 4 hours later //**//**//**//**//**

**Knock Knock Knock **

I had just got done doing my make-up when I heard the knock at the door. Dad had already left to go fishing, He invited me but I had to pass. Never really got a thrill out of it. I gave myself one quick look over before I ran to get the door.

I wasn't all the way ready basically just had my hair and make-up done but had made no effort to get dressed in anything other them a pair of boxers that used to belong to an ex and a tee shirt.

" Who is it?" I asked trying to stand on my tip toe to look out the top of the door. Yeah the fact that I was short didn't seem to help me any.

" Emily." I heard a sweet voice whisper.

As I pulled open the door I saw her, she was pretty, really pretty small and petite like myself, her face was kind and she seemed to be a little nervous for some reason. She smiled as soon as she saw me a heart warming, probably the sweetest smile that I have ever seen.

" Rachel?" She asked. " You're even prettier then he described." She smiled.

I gave her a smile because someone thinking that I was pretty was something all on it's own.

" Thank-you." I laughed as I held the door open for her. I wasn't really sure why she was here or even who in the hell she was but she was too nice for me to leave standing out on the porch.

She made her way in and from the looks of it she had been here before.

She took a seat on the couch before she smoothed out her shirt and looked up at me with a smile. " I'm sorry, I bet you think that I am crazy. I'm Emily Young, Sam's girlfriend and I wanted to come by and meet you since Paul talks about you all the time." She smiled.

" Paul?" My voice filled with wonder why would he talk about me to anyone.

She laughed. " Yeah, he thinks a lot of you, and your such a great girl that I had to meet you." Her words laced with geniality.

I busted out laughing. " I could think of a lot of words to describe me but great wouldn't be one of them."

" We all have issues Rachel and I can see just by talking to you right now that your nothing less then great." She laughed. " Anyway the reason why I came over today was to invite you over to the house for a small get together. It's not going to be much but I know that everyone will love to meet you and Paul will be there." Her words was laced with hope and excitement.

So much excitement that even if I wanted to say no there was no way that I could have said no to her.

I smiled at her. " Yes I would love to come tonight." I said happy.

With that she popped up pulling me into a small hug " Thanks, this is going to be great I'll send Paul to pick you up at six." She told me as she made her way to the door.

Just before she was about to head out she turned back to me. " By the way I hope you have a very happy birthday Rachel." And with that she was gone.

_WOW _

I stood at a little in shock but also was filled with joy that I was really going to get to do something tonight if it was just meeting a few new people and spending time with Paul. That was far more then I thought was ever going to happen this morning.

_Paul _

Just the thought of him does things to me. I wouldn't say butterflies because that's middle school and the feeling that I feel for him starts much deeper then that. I can't really put my finger on it haven't really tried I just know that I have never felt the way I feel about him about anyone else ever. When I'm in my darkest moment I can think of him and know just some how that things are going to be okay one day. He gives me that hope.

So knowing that I was going to see him tonight made me want to do something special. I wasn't sure what I mean there isn't really much that I can give him or do for him that will ever add up to all the things that he has done for me. But all you can do is try right?

And try is what I did. I put all of my energy and focus on getting ready, which after taking four uppers was a lot, I went through all the clothing that I had brought, it really didn't matter what I wore really because in the past 14 months I haven't worn anything else but pajamas in some sort of form. I can't really remember the last time that I was dressed. I really wasn't sure on what to wear, I didn't want to go all out yet I didn't want to look like I do everyday.

_It was my birthday after all _

**//**//**//**//**// 6 o' clock //**//**//**//**//**//**

I had just got down putting the final touches on my hair and make-up when I heard the call.

" Rach, Paul's here!" dad yelled down the hall.

" Coming!" I called as I from the bathroom to my room.

I grabbed my over sized leather and chains purse making sure that I had everything that I would need for a night out. When I made sure that I had everything and two of my happy pills I grabbed my jacket off the bed and made my way to the living room.

As I stepped out into view I saw both my dads eyes and Paul's eyes stare in my direction as I felt my face go flush.

" You look beautiful." Paul mumbled totally taken away by the view in front of him.

I giggled putting my head down. " Thank-you." I whispered as I moved more into the room.

" I got gifts." Paul said snapping out of his haze with a smile.

Dad let out a deep laugh before he wheeled himself into the kitchen.

" You really didn't have to." I said taking a perfectly wrapped box from his hands. " Gift wrapped and all." I laughed as I pulled the paper away in a very childish manor.

He laughed. " Yeah, I shorta got OCD when it comes to things like that." His tone a little nervous.

I was far to excited to press the issue any as I pulled open what had turned out to be a very detailed keepsake box. I was taken back by how pretty the box was.

" Oh wow." I said in aah.

" Open it up." He replied back about as excited as I was.

I opened the lid of the box and all I seen was platinum. Later finding out it was actually white gold but at the moment it could have been made of sting it still took my breath away. Such sparkling blue jewels were blinking up at me and I didn't know what to say.

Noticing the wordless surprise that must have been written all over my face Paul took a step closer lifting a bracelet out of the box before I knew what was happening he had my wrist carefully placing the bracelet on.

" It's aquarium, they said that it's not your birth stone but I thought you would make it look nice." He smiled as me moved my wrist around so that he could see the affect it had against my skin.

" It's wonderful." I whispered as I pulled a ring, and a pair of earrings out of the box. " Thank-you Paul." I said as I pulled him into a hug.

He wrapped his arms around me strongly and I melted into him. There are no other words to explain it I simply melted there in his arms. As of by some way he had felt what I felt because as I looked up at him I found that he was looking down at me. Meeting each others eyes, he began to move his face closer to mine and I knew that it was about to happen. I closed my eyes getting myself ready as I quickly ran my tongue over my lips. His lips brushed my chin, the corner of my mouth and his hot breath made a trail from the side of my neck all the way to my ear leaving shivers going through my body.

" We better go." He whisper into my ear letting his mouth linger there for a second long enough for my heart to speed up.

I exhaled the breath of air that I didn't know I had been holding pulling away for him just slightly but not enough to break his arms from being around me.

" Okay." I giggled as I felt the blush creep to my face again knowing that he knew if he didn't know before that my body reacted to him in such strange ways.

" Have a good time Rachel." Dad called from the kitchen. " Happy birthday."

With that Paul said goodnight to my dad and we was off.

" I've missed you." Paul said after we where a few minutes up the road from the house.

I smiled at him, and how sweet he was being to me. " I missed you too." I said back before I reached across and took his hand.

That's when I felt it, it was almost as if sparks where shooting off inside of me. As if my life as connected by some strong and unseen force, It was as if he was now my everything. I was in love with him and would be from that moment on. I felt it and just some how knew it.

We didn't drive for long and it felt like it was nothing before we pulled down the long drive-way that lead to the woods. It was kinda hard to belive that the sweet girl that was at my house would really live this far out. I mean wouldn't she be freaked out and sacred of bears or other wild animals that could show up on her door step at any given chance. I promise you that it took a full five minutes before I saw the thick woods around us give away to a small house that was seat right in the middle of on open field that looked as if it had only been cleared enough so that the little house could fit.

It was a pretty house for the outside with it's yellow siding and big front porch that wrapped around one side of the house. I noticed that there was flower boxes under every window that was covered it what looked to be blue plastic to protecting the plants from the cold winter air. Pulling up closer to the house I got to see that it looked very warm and welcoming from the front view and you could tell that a women lived her before you even got into the house. It could have been something out of a home and garden magazine and that's really under stating it big time.

Paul parked his big ass truck half way in the drive and half in the yard, there was only two other cars in the drive way but I guessed that more people was coming for the reason of his parking.

" We're here." He said squeezing my hand which he had been holding for the whole ride.

I smiled as I took a deep breath pulling down the visor so that I could get a good look at myself before I entered a room full of people. I don't know what I was expecting to see but when I realized that I was just looking at myself and that was nothing great to look at I huffed as I pushed it back up. Talk about a disappointment.

" You look great." Paul said as cold air hit me because he was holding open the door for me.

I laughed to myself wondering how in the hell he got over to my side of the truck with me hearing or seeing him move. It was like he just magically appeared on my side of the car. I counted it off the the pills as I climbed out of the truck. I felt my boot slip as I tried to make sure it was firmly planted on the stepping bar thingy but messed something up because the next thing I knew is I was slipping and there was only one way to go and that was down.

" Careful ba...Rachel." He said as he grabbed me by the back of my arm holding me in place long enough to get my whole body to one area.

" Sorry." I mumbled as I got it together and reached in the grab my purse, which was a reach all on its own with my little arms.

He laughed as he reached around me grabbing my purse and closing the door all at the same time. " My truck is really big to a girl as little as you huh?" He asked as he handed me my things placing his hand on the small of my back escorting me the up the walk-way to the door.

" Yeah it's like climbing a mountain for real." I laughed as he pulled me behind a little so that he could knock at the door.

He knocked once before opening the door up and walking in pulling me behind him. As soon as I got in the house I noticed that the main room which from first guess was just a sitting room was absolutely mind blowing beautiful. There was paintings, candles, and vases all over in a pretty grouping, on the far wall there was a book case that looked to stretch from one side of the room the the other. There was two big over sized chairs that you would find in a therapist office set up around a small tall round table that was scattered with magazines and mail for the looks of it.

The vibe of the room was welcoming like you was at your grandmothers house or visiting your mom or something. I felt atomically at peace like I had been here a million times. I let Paul pull me to the end of a hall way that opened up to a big bright kitchen where a group of dark skin boys piled in around what had to be the biggest dinner table that I had ever seen. And as if I was a bilking light all eyes where on me.

" Rachel Black!" One of the boys at the table said filled with excitement.

I felt my face get hot not really sure why or who this boy was who was saying my name like he had known me all of my life. I looked over at Paul hoping that I could read his face and get a clue as to who this person was but the only thing that I got from him was a glare in the general direction of the boy that had said my name. I immediately wondered what the boy had done in order to get the look that he was getting right now.

The boy laughed before he stood up and I noticed that he was incredibly toned and really, really sexy. Not as sexy as Paul but still he was a looker.

" I can't belive you don't remember me I only spent every waking hour at your house when we was younger." He laughed as he punched the boy next to him in the arm.

I looked closer at the boy and then to the boy that was next to him and still couldn't place it. You would think I would remember tow guys as hot as they were spending time at my house when I was younger. I mean trust me I would remember something like that. The whole table seemed to have found my dumfounded funny because they all seemed to have laughed at the same time.

" Don't worry about them." Paul whispered to me as he pulled me down to the end the other end of the table filling in the two empty seats on the end.

I once again looked around the table these boys, well I should say men was of the usual La'Push decent, they were all fairly muscular boys all ranging in different shades of brown, some with more undertones to the light undertones like Paul. The first thing that comes to mind taking them all is is god, these men are sexy.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind entering the room was yet another one of these fine creatures. This one looked older then the rest but still young in every way, he was bigger, much more toned and chiseled then the others. This force radiated off him, I could tell that he was in charge it didn't matter what it was this man would be in charge. character traits is what it was, some people was born to lead and some where made to follow and this man that just entered this room was meant to lead.

" I hear it's someone special birthday today." The man said as he stride down by all the other that filled the table until he got to the only open seat at the head of the table.

I knew he was going to sit there, it was written all over his whole being. He took his seat the way a king would take there thrown, smugness was the emotion coming from him as he settled into it. Arrogance if you would, I have to say that it was impressive but also disturbing at the same time. In other words it pissed me off a little. I watched him. I couldn't help it I was drawn into him. I wanted to dissect him, take him apart piece by piece and humble him and I didn't even know this man.

" Rachel!" Paul hissed in my ear as he nudged my thigh successfully pulling me out of my mind.

" Sorry" I whispered quickly not really knowing why I was saying sorry in the first place. I guess I had been staring.

" So who's birthday is it?" The man that I had been looking at pressed on with a laugh.

I was taken back by the smile it wasn't something that I expected and once again my drug infused mind lead me to once again be looking at this man.

" Me'Chell!" Paul yelled this time pulling chair closer to him.

I jumped head on back into reality with that one and was looking into his eyes before I even knew what had happened. The look in his eyes told made me want to pull it all together and get back to this world instead of my own, and stop looking at the man at the end of the table.

" It's my birthday." I whispered not looking from away where but his Paul's eyes.

Paul's eyes where a mix of emotions, The one that was quickest to read was anger. Not mad beat someone up kind of anger but a what the fuck is going on type of thing. A jealousness over my dead body type of anger. It was fighting in this sensual seduction kind of way. Because under it all his eyes was filled with this sexy swag that whispered in my ear and sent chills down my spine.

The lights flashed off all of a sudden as I realized that it was dark I started to freak out as I reached out grabbing Paul's arm. The dark was one of my biggest fears, It always has been and will always be. The unseen lives in the dark, things you can't see but have full view of you. I thighed my grip as I closed my eyes breathing deeply trying to settle myself down.

" Happy Birthday Rachel!" Everyone called out. My eyes shot open and I noticed that the room was no longer dark but now light by candles on a cake that Emily was bringing in with a smile.

She placed the cake in front of me with a the biggest smile that I had seen in a long time, she was filled with so much happiness that it reminded me of a mother.

" Make a wish." Paul whispered in my ear.

I thought for a second before I closed my eyes and blew. By the time that I opened my eyes again the candles was out and the lights were on. I heard a few snickers as I looked down seeing that I was still holding on to Paul's arm like the lights was still off.

I rolled my eyes pulling my arm away placing it back by my side. Emily came back to the table sitting a big oversized gift bag in front of me.

" This is from Sam and all the boys." She said as she waved her arms around showing me that when she said all the boys she meant all the boys.

I laughed before pulling the bag closer to me, I was really curios about what type of gift these 'boys' had gotten for a girl that was turning 21. I was almost sure that I might want to wait to open this in privet. Let just say that curiosity killed my cat and before I could even think it over I was pulling gift warp out of the bag. The firs thing that I pulled out was something that everyone girls gets on there 21st birthday and that's the whole crown, stash type of thing.

" Thanks." I said as i set everything aside before digging back in the bag for whatever was left. This time I was shocked at what I pulled out. Not because it was outrages but because it was something that I was never expecting. Well I expected it just not how it came. Before me sat a set of three shot glasses that had Marilyn Monroe on them each was inscribed with one of her quotes.

" Oh My God!" I squalled as I quickly opened the box pulling the glasses out one by one looking them over closely. " I love them!" I yelled not even knowing that I was being loud.

Everyone laughed as I bounced up and down in my seat.

" You like them?" The man at the head of the table asked.

I laughed myself. " Yeah, I love them!" I said as I looked back at them.

I heard a huff come from a little bit of a ways down from me.

" Huh, think we put in our money for a gift for someone that doesn't even remember us." The guy that harassed me when I first came in said hitting the guy that sat next to him before plating a pout on his face.

" Embry Call!" I yelled as realization hit me. That pout, I could recognized that pout anyway where.

" Bout time." He laughed and as if I needed anymore convening I had it when I heard his laugh.

I laughed taking both him and the boy next to him.

" Quil?" I asked as I covered my mouth.

They was far from the little boys that I had left. I mean they all used to be little skinny boys that I would push around and make do whatever it was that I wanted to do.

" What happened?" I asked pointing to there bodies. " Your so...grown up now." I laughed.

Before I could get an answer Emily was up in the cabinet pulling out something that looked like a box of bottles.

" Who's ready to drink?" She asked as she sat the box and cups on the table.

" Hell Yeah!" I cheered as I slide my jacket off letting it fall around me.

The room erupted in laugher as I got sat my first drink in front of me I had no clue as to what it was and I really didn't care this was what it was all about.

**//**//**//**//**//** Later That NIght //**//**//**//**//**//**

" I'm drunk as shit!" I laughed as started rocking my hip to the beat.

We had all moved from the table to a more social type of setting, a few more people showed up, more bottles where brought and the little small gratings turned into a party. The best part is there is only three other girls here, counting me. So that means that only two of the men in this room was taken. It would be any singles girl dream to be in here.

" Me too." Embry agreed before sitting on the couch.

I was in my zone moving my hips to the beat of the music letting it take over my whole body. It had been a while since I felt this good. Since I was back at school and used to do things. I would sit in my apartment with my friends and we would get up, drink and then do whatever you wanted. Tonight kinda reminded me of them nights, it was a comfortable feeling yet a freighting one at the same time.

" Where you'd learn to dance like a video girl Rach?" Quil asked as he squeezed past me trying not to touch me.

I didn't break my mind set as I stated back to him. " Collage, teaches you skills for life."

They got real quite, too quite for Quil and Embry and I knew that one of them was about to say something really silly.

" So, is the drunk knowledge you just shared with us something you learned away at school too?" Embry laughed Quil soon joining in.

" Shut up before I make ya'll get bugs again." I laughed glaring at them playfully.

That made them both laugh harder.

" Your too little to make us do anything now." Quil laughed before he got up making his way to the door.

" Yep! Those days are long gone." Embry smirked at me before busting out laughing all over again.

I knew what he was laughing about now. The look on my face as I realized that they was right, I wasn't going to make them do anything anymore. They wasn't the little boys that I left. It still kinda boggled my mind, that these two boys that I consider my little brothers looked like grown men now. Made me wonder about Jacob.

" Hey! You talk to my little brother don't you?" I had the question out before my mind could comprehend what it had thought.

" Uh..Ye...Kinda...Why?" He stumbled looking as if he wasn't sure how to answer my question.

I read him like book, he was hiding something, the way that he wouldn't give me direct eye contact but tried to play it off like he was. He was worried about the reason that I was asking I could tell by his body language that he really wasn't trying to talk about what my question was.

" Embry, You know that you can tell me he's my little brother." I whispered hoping that I could clam him so that he would tell me.

He cleared his throat. " Well.. It's not really mine to tell you, plus he's my best friend and it was told in confidence so I can't really tell you. But to ease your mind he's alive and well."

" That's good." I smiled. " Tell him that I said I'm home now." I wiped my hand across my eyes because they watered up on the verge of crying.

I sat down beside him touching his arm as I did to let him know that I wasn't upset with him. I understood the whole best friend bond, It was different then all other bonds and couldn't be broken no matter who it was wanting to know something. I myself have a best friend that I cross my heart and hope to die for. Whats funny is that me and my best friends are more like sisters then me and Becca have ever really been.

Speaking of her

" Hey! Do you know what Leah Clearwater is up to now of days?" I asked my question filled with excitement.

" Being a female dog." Embry said tonelessly I could see that him and Leah must not have been the best of friends.

Every in the room snickered a little before going back to whatever it was they was doing.

I guess the whole room know about what ever issue Embry and Leah seem to share. I was clueless as always. Then it hit me what he had said.

" Don't call Leah a bitch." I hissed pushing him which didn't move him an inch the boy was sturdy.

Just as before the whole room started laughing this time they didn't stop but was really laughing.

Embry smiled at me. " I don't know what your referring too." He laughed.

Rolling my eyes I went on. " Well she's my best friend, so you can't call her that anymore." I stated proudly.

I hadn't seen Leah since her father death and that was a quick visit we shared given that I had only came down for the wake going back to school as soon as it was over. I talked to her on the phone of course but I hadn't seen my best friend in a while.

" I just call em like i seem em." He said laughing like it was the funniest thing he ever said.

With that I acted, One second I was sitting on the couch beside him, the next I had his pushed back against the couch straddling him. I was hitting him playfully until he grabbed me wrist holding me against him.

" I thought we done went through this, your too small to be trying to beat me up." He laughed.

I was stuck. Feeling his body against mine was messing with my head. It felt good, he was warm but something was off. I looked at him, Embry had grown into a really cute boy. As I felt him take in a breath my body reacted being pressed against him and all.

No longer being in control of my actions. I leaned my head in closer to his ear, pressing up against him harder. Before whispering in his ear.

" Your kinda cute Embry." I let my lips lightly touch his ear feeling him shiver under me.

That was the invite I needed as I placed my lips on his kissing him softly at first but coming alive as soon as it started until I put my all into it. It was the shortest kiss of my life as Embry pushed me off of him basically throwing me on the couch. That's when I noticed the music had stopped, no one was talking anymore and Paul was staring at us from the hall-way.

The look in his eyes was one that I had never seen before. It was wild, almost animalistic. He was shaking, shaking so bad that I felt myself start to shake because I didn't know what was wrong with him. Embry was up off the couch in a pace that was so quick that I had completely missed it holding his hands up as if to surrender. He didn't need to wave a white flag.

**" OUTSIDE BOTH OF YOU!"** Sam ordered in a tone that made me sit straight up sobering me up of the alcohol almost instantly.

Like some kind of mind control Embry and Paul both made there was the door. As soon as it was open Paul shoved Embry out as Sam and Jared ran out after them closings the door.

" What's happening?" I yelled standing up trying to make my way to the door only to have Emily stand in front of it stopping my exit.

" No!" She cried spreading her arms out which barley reached the width.

Emily was no bigger then me. A little taller yes but she was skinner then me so I knew that it would have took nothing for me to move her if I had to. But I wasn't trying to go that rout just yet.

" Why can't I go out there, I need to be out there." I reasoned not really sure on why I needed to be out there I just felt like I did.

" Go ahead and move Emily, She's gonna find out anyway." Kim said as she pulled Emily's arm efficiently moving her enough that I could get out.

_As I opened the door stories of my childhood come to life and I realized that I never quite grasped the whole story _

_

* * *

_

**_WHEW!!! BET YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD NEVER END...LOL... AND WAHT KIND OF ENDING WAS THAT ANYWAY...HEHE!!!!_**

**_OKAY SO NOW YOU ALL SEE WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT WE'RE MOVING ON TO A NEW PART OF LIFE THE WOLF OUT OF THE BAG NOW... AS EMBRY WOULD SAY...LOL..._**

**SO I REALLY WANT TO HEAR FROM ALL OF YA'LL ON THIS CHAP SO PLEZE SEND ME A REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOUR THINKING. I TAKE IT ALL GOOD OR BAD IT DONT MATTER. WITH THAT IN MIND EVERYONE IM REALLY TRYING TO GET THE REVIEWS FOR THIS FIC UP. IM NOT GOING TO SAY IF I DONT GET A # OF REVIEWS I WONT POST OR NOTHING LIKE THAT BECASUE IM GOING TO POST UNTIL THIS FIC IS DONE I WOULD JUST LIKE TO HEAR WHAT EVERYONE HAD TO SAY AND BE ABLE TO HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW FOR ALL THE WORK THAT I PUT INTO THIS. REVIEWS MAKE ME SMILE AND I LOVE THEM SO SHOW SOME LOVE. **

**AITE, AS I SAID IN MY AN LAST WEEK I HAVE SENT UP A SLIDE SHOW FOR THIS FIC. I REALIZE THAT THE LINK DIDNT WORK NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I TRIED IT AND IM REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT. I WANT YOU ALL TO BE ABLE TO SEE WHAT YOUR READING ABOUT SO YOU CAN HAVE MORE OF A FEEL ON THE FIC. ANYWAY IM WORKING OUT THAT ISSUE RIGHT NOW AND HOPE TO HAVE EVERYTHING WORKED OUT SO THAT BY NEXT CHAP I CAN HAVE A LINK FOR YA. IF YOU CAN'T WAIT AND REALLY WANT TO SEE IT YOU CAN SEND ME YOUR EMAIL IN A PM AND I WILL SEND IT TO YOU MYSELF. **

**I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE THAT HAS REVIEWED AND EVERYONE WHOS GOING TO RIGHT NOW... :) THANKS**

******NEXT CHAP IS TELLING SECERTS PART TWO.... THREE GUESSES AS TO WHY????**


	13. Telling Secrets Pt Two

**HELLO EVERYONE! I HOPE THAT ALL IS WELL WITH EVERYTHING. i GOT ONE REVIEW LAST CHAP WHICH MEANS THAT UNTIL I GET MORE REVIEW I WILL NOT WRITE ON THIS FIC ANYMORE. SO THIS WILL BE THE LAST CHAPTER OF THIS FIC IF I DON'T START GETTING REVIEW. I FEEL LIKE IM WASTING MY TIME ALL THE WAY AROUND WITH THIS. I AM A LITTLE UPSET ABOUT IT AND HAVE TAKEN IT REALLY PERSOANL SO LIKE I SAID THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER OF THIS FIC THAT I WILL POST UNTIL I START GETTING SOME REVIEWS. **

**IM NOT EVEN GONNA ASK ANYMORE BECASUE IM NOT GOING TO GET ANY SO I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THIS CHAP AND YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO TO GET MORE. **

**I WILL BE PUTTING ALL MY TIME INTO MY OTHER FIC (FEARLESS) WHICH YOU CAN CHECK OUT IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO READ A STORY THAT IS GOING TO BE ON GOING. THANKS FOR READING....

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**

**~ Set Free ~**

**Act Two**

**~Telling Secrets Part. Two~**

**Paul PoV**

_Shit...Fuck...Damn...Hell. A million curse couldn't even express how totally fucked I was. I heard her gasp for air as shock registered in all of her thoughts. You could see it all over her face. I saw my reflection in her eyes as she took in the me, well the big gray wolf part of me in all my anger and fiery. Embry's mind was racing so fast that I thought I was going to be sick not really sure if it was from his thoughts telling me how totally fucked I was or if it was from knowing that Rachel now knew the thing that I've been trying to bring myself to tell her since Sam gave me the okay._

_She took a step off the porch, then she was tumbling down the steps. Sam, Jared and Quil all rushed to her as she laid sprawled out on the wet concrete. I moved closer as fear filled me only to have Sam push me back by my head._

_" She's fainted, And waking up to a big wolf won't help her any when she does come around." He stated in a tone that was all business._

_Jared and Quil found it funny as they laughed I felt the anger building up inside of me. I growled not being able to control it as it ripped through me._

_" She smells funny." Quil said as lifted her._

_I shook my head what did he means she smelled funny. What the fuck was he trying to say?_

**_Be easy Paul gosh stop taking shit so personal_**

_Embry the great fucking mind thought. I had forgotten that he was even in my head let alone standing not even 5 feet away from me. Which reminds me it's fuck heads fault that this whole thing is even happening. I felt the fire build back up inside me and I lunged at Embry landing on top of him as we slide to the edge of the woods. He growled and nipped at me as i did the same to him. There was no way that he was going to beat me, Hell no one can beat me._

_We rolled around a few good times and I was going in for the breaker when I heard a scream that sent chills down my spine locking me in place._

_" STOP!" Rachel yelled her voice laced with anger and fear._

_Like it had came from Sam himself I retreated off of Embry pacing away from him as I looked up at her. She stair me down as everyone around us was quit. I watched her eyes they was crazy, but they didn't hold fear._

_" Paul?" She whispered taking a step closer to me only to have Sam put his arm in front of her._

_" He's not in control." He stated as he looked at me with fierce eyes it was the first time I had seen him panic since this all started.  
_**  
_He's never in control _**

_Embry added in. It's a shame that even in your mind your a smart ass, punck ass bastard. I thought happy to add in the adjectives that flowed through._

**_Oh yeah, real nice Paul...but where's your daddy at...._**

_Fuck you Call, at lest I get to see my daddy, you can only guess who's your is. So fuck off basted!_

_**You know what's so funny is that everyone is always calling me the bastard and throwing things in my face but no one never talks about how your mother used to beat the shit out of you, or how much many times she's told you she hates you. So i think that I'd rather be a bastard, then a son of a bitch that only wanted you because you guaranteed her a check for 18 years.  
**  
I went straight for him, I was in kill mode I was gonna kill Embry Call there was no doubt about it. As I landed on him going right for his neck he knew that he only had seconds left to live. I bite down into him getting deeper satisfaction and the deeper urge to kill him. He howled out in pain as the taste of blood filled my mouth I lost all control letting the animal that I was take over. It wasn't me and Embry anymore it was wolf and wolf one of us had to die._

_Growls where coming from every where at this point I couldn't even tell the difference between which ones were Embry's and which ones where mine. I felt arms pulling on me but I didn't even register the touch, I was enraged in a killing zone that went far and beyond any vampire hunting I had ever done. I had finally lost all that hold on calmness that I had worked on the last 16 months and since I was giving it it all up I might as well go out with a bang._

_**" Rachel!!!" **Sam yelled._

_Hearing her name made pulled me out of my haze if only long enough to look back at her. She was running for a minute I was so baffled by the her movements I dint even notice that she was coming towards me. My attention being else where gave Embry all he needed to make a counter attack and have me on my back in a quick second and the fight began again._

_" GET OFF HIM! " She screamed standing directly behind Embry. " GET OFF HIM NOW!"_

_She raised her foot up kicking Embry with all that she had before Jared tackled her to the ground, once again I lost it. Not thinking about anything other the the fact that my Rachel was pinned to the ground was enough to take me back to my red filled haze. Kicking Embry off me and half way into the woods I jumped up racing my way over to them tackling Jared to the ground right beside her where I proceed to attack him._

_" STOP!" She yelled so close that I could feel her breath hitting my fur._

_I felt Jared shaking under neath me and I knew that he was about to phase. As the fire ripped through him I realized that Rachel was too close so i acted quickly shoving her away with my body. The same time that she hit the ground Jared rammed into me sending me flying backwards until I hit a tree knocking everything out of me as I hit the ground._

_**" ENOUGH!!" **Sam yelled effectually ending the battle between me and everyone. " TAKE HER TO EMILY NOW QUIL!" He ordered._

_I smelled the blood. Her blood, Rachel blood. I watched as Quil scooped her up into his arms as blood ran down her face. I felt like I had been hit by a million baseball bats just beating me all over my body. Like I had been hit by a train a really long one that just keep running over me car by car wheel by wheel. I tired to quickly go back over what had happened to cause these injuries in my mind._

**_You did that, and you think that Billy is going to let you be with his daughter...wait till Jacob finds out what you did. you don't even deserve an imprint._**

_That was the thought I had in my head that wasn't mine for a while. After Embry phased out Sam throwing him a pair of shorts he went into the house. Sam waited until everyone was inside before he turned to me with a hard face. Instantly I felt my head bow down as my eyes met the ground. I knew that I was in some shit but I wasn't for sure how deep that shit was going to be._

_**" Go! I don't want to see you again until I tell you that I want to see you again. You're off patrol until further notice."** His words echoed through my body hitting me a million times._

_I couldn't argue the situation because he left no room for discussion, the matter was closed and I would do what I was told._

_So I ran. Ran away from Sam's ran away from La' Push. I was going to keep running until my legs gave out._

_

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_

" Paul!" My mothers voice entered my mind pulling me out of my dreams.

" Are you going to school today are you just going to lay your ass up in bed for the rest of your life?" She asked yelling as she pulled my curtains open.

" Yeah, I'm up." I mumbled sleepily rolling away from the light.

I heard her hills click across my floor as she made her way out of my room. She must be going out this morning because she seems dressed and ready. She never ever woke me up for school which is something all in it's self that she did this morning. If she did wake me up it was never as easy as come in opening curtains then clicking away.

I got up out of bed feeling fresh and fully awake. Guess I would since I haven't had late night patrol in two weeks. I had a lot of free time on my hands and nothing really to do with it but sleep and go to school. Really, today will mark the second day I've been to school this whole time but hey that counts for something. Mostly I've been sleeping and laying around the house. Sam said that he didn't want to see me until he comes to me so I took that to mean keep your ass at home because he could be any where.

I spent a few minutes in the closet trying to find something to wear. As Jared likes to tell everyone I have more clothing and shoes then a chick. So whenever I went to look for something to wear it always took a minute. Not that long thanks to the gift of having ADD with a mix of OCD everything was separated in sections ranging from different shades of jeans all the way to the type of T-shirt. My shoes went from brand to brand.

Settling on a pair of American Eagle dark wash boot cut jeans and a white AE shirt. Checking the time I made my way to the shower. I have always loved the shower because it's a place where you can escape time all your problems are temporally gone and you feel refreshed if it just until you shut the water off. Now by the time that I got out of the shower I had more problems then I started with.

I thought of Rachel all day as it is, But when I'm alone its much worse. Being left alone with myself and my thoughts she fills up my mind. I haven't seen, talked or breathed her in, in two weeks. It's killed me yes, but I haven't went to her. My body wants to sit outside her window every night and watch her. I wont let it though, I'm giving it space. I'm sure that she knows about everything now, and whoever told her probably explained it better then I ever could. I assume it's all good on that end.

The serious reason I haven't been to see her is the fact that I don't know to what extent she was hurt. That I hurt her. I've been waiting for Billy to come to my door with a shot gun to kill me, and I know that he will if its really bad. Must not be because I'm still here.

Suckie, but I'm still here

By the time I was fully ready to go I wanted to do nothing more but go back to bed. I was about to spend eight hours of my life in a place I didn't want to be with people I don't really give a fuck about, get to eat a shitty food ultimately ending up in a worse mood then I started.

The joys of school

" Paul! I'm going to Seattle today and won't be back until tomorrow night so I want you to come right home after school." Mom told me as soon as I walked into the kitchen.

" What for?" I asked as I grabbed my keys off the hook making my way to the door.

" I have business to attended too." She glared at me. " Not really any business of your anyway you answer to me remember?"

" Whatever." I said through my teeth as I went out the door slamming it behind me.

Correction, I used to answer to you... I'm a big boy now

Did I ever mention the fact that I have shit for luck. My mother would be going out of town and I would have no friends to mark the occasion with. So no friends, no pack, no girlfriend I was spending the night by myself.

I was making way to school going the long way so that I could go by the Black house in hopes to... Well I don't really know what I was hoping to do it wasn't like she was going to be out at seven in the morning in the middle of a mix of icy rain. As I rounded the corner I noticed Sam's truck in the drive it was still running. I slowed my truck to turtle speed as I watched Sam push Billy down the ramp to the passengers of the truck.

They was leaving

I quickly pulled my truck into the drive-way closest to me as I jumped out of it running into the woods. I had to make sure that he didn't see me, because he told me he better not see me. I really, really didn't want to find out what happens if he does see me. I was sure that he smelled me from the house, he didn't say anything about that though.

Don't get it twisted I'm not scared of Sam, I fear no one. It's just that he's in charge of all this the pack, the tribe council, all of La'Push as a whole. So, it was in my best bet for me to listen and just get along with it since there was really nothing I could do about it. But I'm not under no circumstances fearful of Sam and if ever wanted to fight me I would step up too quickly.

I watched the truck drive-bye giving it a few minutes before I ran back to my truck quickly driving the rest of the way down the street until I pulled into The Black House drive-way. Now that I was sitting here I had no clue what I was going to do.

Shit should have thought this out better

I was just going to sit here until she came out or looked out the window something. Now that I was here there was no way that I could leave, I had held myself back too long. I sat there staring at the house, taking in everything about it wishing that I could see through it so that I could see her. I knew that when I did see her it was going to spark up my whole life once again like it does every time.

**KNOCK...KNOCK.....KNOCK **

I jumped looking at the window as my heart skipped a beat. I seen just who was knocking and my heart stopped all together.

She was too pretty for words as she smiled at me her face lined in chocolate fur that rimmed the hood of her white jacket. She looked as if she had won the biggest prize at the fair. I rolled down my window as I took in her scent. It was wonderful even better after not having it for such a long time.

" Hi." She whispered looking down shyly.

I reached out bringing her head back up until she was looking me in the eyes.

" Don't look away from me." I whispered letting my thumb outline her mouth.

She took in a sharp breath which throw her heart rhythm off a little.

" Haven't seen you in a while." She said as she held my hand to her face. " Thought you didn't want to know me anymore."

I felt my heart crush. I hadn't thought that me not coming to see her was going to make her feel bad.

" Had things going on." I stated which wasn't a lie or I wouldn't have been able to say it to her. It was true I had a lot of things going on in my mind.

" That's kinda fucked up ya know?" She asked me anger filling her words.

" I'm sorry...About it all and yeah I know I'm fucked up." I whispered it was my turn to look down only mine wasn't because I was shy it was because the feeling of shit filled my every pore.

She pulled open my door making her way inside until she was seated in my lap.

" I didn't say that you was fucked up, I said how you didn't come see me was fucked up. How you just left me after all of that. Paul your an amazing guy and I am honored that you are interested in me. I knew you was too good to be true but I never in a million years thought that it was this good." She said as she tenderly caress my face.

I pulled her closer to me breathing in all of her.

" I love you Rachel Me'Chelle Black. I Love you more then fully understandable." I whispered as I kissed her forehead, her nose, both of her cheeks before settling on her lips.

" I think I love you too." She giggled against my lips before falling deep into the kiss.

And I would take that answer any day because think is a lot better then don't know

I let my gaze linger on her for as long as I couldn't with out seem creepy. She just smiled at me as she gazed right back into me.

" What are you doing up at Seven in the morning?" I asked wonder filling my words.

She laughed darkly. " Why not be up at Seven in the morning I mean that it what people do right?" She said as she kinda went distance, Like she was thinking about something really hard.

" Whatcha thinking about?" I asked pulling her closer to me because the door was still open not wanting her to be cold.

She took a deep breath and her face went from thoughtful to a sad like form.

" We need to talk, and I know that it really doesn't help that I'm on your lap right now but everything isn't okay and there is a lot that needs to be said between us." She whispered looking down.

I don't know why I felt so shocked and scared by her words. I mean I've known since everything happened that there would come a point in time where we would have to talk. A point in time when I would have to let her go.

" Okay! Let's talk!" I said trying to put excitement in my voice to ease the way into this dreaded conversation.

She kissed my lips gently as she jumped out of my lap back onto the ground outside of the door before shaking her head no.

" Later. You need to get to school." She smiled as she shut my door

To my luck the window was still down so it took nothing to reach out and grab her arm so that she wouldn't walk off. She looked down at her arm and then up at me not really sure how she felt about it. It's crazy how I can look at her face and know everything that she's feeling.

" Om...My mom isn't going to be at my house tonight so...If you want we can talk there." I suggested not really that sure of myself which is a feeling I don't have to often.

She thought it over for a moment while I still had my grip on her arm.

" Okay, I'll walk over later tonight about Seven." She answered with a smile.

I let her arm go watching her as she made her way into the house before I started my truck. I really didn't like to leave her by herself but there was really nothing I could do about it.

As I made my way to school I couldn't help the smile that played across my face. I know that I might be the loneliest fucked up person in the world by the end of tonight but I was going to get to spend much needed time with the love of my life. All I had to do was make it through eight hours of nothingness.

**//**//**//**//**// Later That Night //**//**//**//**//**//**

" Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?" I asked her for the millionth time.

" How many times do I have to say no Paul?" She laughed as she swirled around on the bar stool.

I laughed watching her do this made her look like a little girl.

" You have a really nice house by the way." She stated as she looked around the kitchen.

" Yeah." I said lacking the euthanasia that most people would have when there home was completed.

She gave me an unreadable look as I took a bite of the food I had ordered.

" Why did my statement about your house get to you?" She asked rising her eyebrow as if she was waiting for an answer.

How did she know that it bothered me

" What are you talking about?" I asked as I contented to eat.

She didn't respond just laughed as she spun around again.

" So. You wanted to talk right?" I asked looking up at her as she made her way back around to face me.

I didn't see the point in drawing it out taking longer then necessary to get the things out that needed to be said. I didn't want to have the chance to brace myself I wanted it out in the open and I wanted it right now.

" Okay so we're going right for it I guess." She said fear filling her words.

Why is she scared

I nodded my head yes hoping that she would just go ahead and start so that I could just follow along.

" Your a wolf." She started. It wasn't a question it was a fact.

" Yes! The angry wolf." I replied.

" Your not angry about being a wolf, I could see that from the way you was fighting Embry." She smiled. " I wasn't scared you know...Even tired to help you out."

I laughed thinking back on it and she did kick the shit out of Embry, If it would have been a normal man she would have laid them on there back.

" I wasn't really sure why I felt that I had to do something. It just did something to me seeing Embry gain the upper hand...It didn't settle well with me and I had to react." She laughed which made her eyes light up.

I smiled at her finishing up my the last bites of my food before I pushed my plate away giving her all of my attention.

" I take it that Sam told you everything." I enquired knowing that most likely he had.

She took my hand in hers. " I already know everything about it. I grew up to the stories, He just confirmed that they was true."

Okay now for the big part

I took a deep breath knowing that Sam didn't tell her this part of it because it was my part to tell.

" Did Billy ever tell you any stories about Imprinting?" I asked hoping that he had which would make this so much easier.

She looked at me for a second before looking down. I knew that she was thinking back to everything that she heard probably.

" I'm not really sure I know what that means." She said after a few minutes.

I laughed. " Shit! Alight I'm not really sure how to put it into words so I'm just going to tell you how it feels okay?" I asked wondering if this was really going to work. I have never been much for words.

She nodded her head waiting for me to began.

" It's like nothing you have ever felt before and only wolves can do it. It's like love at first sight only a million times stronger, When you look whoever the person may be in the eyes your whole world changes and they become your point of orbit. Every thought you will have after wards will be of them. You want to be with them every moment of life and when your not with them you miss them more then you have ever missed anything before." I stated not really satisfied with what I had said.

" It's shorta like finding the last four left clover on Earth and wanting to forever and always have it. It's like tasting life for the first time, You only thought you was living until you really got a taste of something that you didn't even know was there. You're imprint is all you ever need and will ever want, no one will ever come before them and you will be nothing with-out them. They're your other half put on earth to complete you. Kinda like Adam and Eva. You was put her for them and they for you." I end with that giving her time to catch up and grasp the meaning of it.

It was quite for a while, I would have started to worry if it wasn't for the fact that I was looking into her face knowing that she was processing over everything that I had said. She didn't look like she thought I was crazy, she didn't look scared or weirdo out at all. So I let her sit in peace as she thought it over never letting go of her hand.

" I'm your imprint correct?" She asked looking me in the eyes.

It caught me completely off guard I wasn't expecting her to put it together so quickly but she's a smart girl that catches on to things quickly.

" Yes." I answered proudly.

" I feel it too. I've felt it since the first night we meet when you looked me in the eyes I knew then that there was no other place that I would rather be. At the time I didn't want to bring you into my life.. because let's face it I'm a little bit beyond fucked up. Yet as time went on I was finding it harder and harder to be with out you." She said as tears filled up in her eyes.

Before I could even think about it I was around the counter pulling her closer to me.

" Don't cry it's okay I'm not going anywhere no matter how fucked up you are." I cooed rubbing circles on her back.

I wasn't really good at the whole emotions thing yet when it came to Rachel I knew what to say and what to do to try to make her feel better. I kinda missed out on the emotional development coming up my mother isn't really the best person to learn emotions from granted why anger fills most of my life.

" Paul." She whimpered. " I have something to tell you too."

I pulled away whipping her tears away.

" You can tell me anything It wont change the way that I feel about you." I told her placing a kiss on her forehead.

She looked me in the eyes. " I've been...I'm....I've been taking the pills again." She finally got out after three attempts.

I held her tighter against me as it all started making cents to me. Quil saying she smelled funny, being awake at seven in the morning. The drawing. everything she has done since I've came back from my trip to Seattle has been a side effect of the pills. I was relived that it wasn't something worse don't get me wrong it was bad that she was using again and if I was 100 percent sure that it couldn't hurt her I wouldn't even care.

" Well, it's not that big of an issue we can work through it." I said with a smile notching that she was drying up a little.

" I like they sound of that." She smiled. " We."

" Don't even be worry about telling me things okay. Because I'm here for you and I want to know everything that goes on with you." I told her as I placed a single kiss on her lips.

" Like the pages of a diary." She whispered pulling my face down to hers kissing me me sweetly before I pulled her up to me so that we could continued this on my level.

_That night I got to add on another part to the My Imprint definition. An imprint someone you can tell your all to and know that everything you say is safe in the pages of there heart. Lay your head down on there pillow and give them your soul fill them up like the pages in your diary. I forever and always would love Rachel Me'chelle Black_**. **

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** IF YOU ARE REALLY LIKING THIS FIC AND WANT ME TO KEEP WRITING YOU HAVE TO SEND ME A REVIEW OTHER WISE THIS IS IT. SORRY IT HAS TO BE THAT WAY BUT IT'S JUST THE WAY THAT IT IS. SO REVIEW NOW OR HOLD YOUR PEACE. **


	14. All I Ever Wanted

**I KNOW THAT IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE POSTED A NEW CHAP ON THIS FIC LIKE I SAID IN THE LAST ONE I WAS DONE WITH THIS UNTIL i STARTED TO GET REVIEWS. SO I LEFT THIS FIC FOR A WHILE AND DURNING THAT TIME I GOT A FEW REVIEWS ASKING ME TO KEEP WRITING AND THAT PEOPLE WAS READING THIS AND THOUGHT ENOUGH TO REVIEW. **

**I WANT TO MAKE A POINT TO SAY THAT IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO US THAT WRITE WHEN WE GET FEED BACK FOR WHAT WE HAVE DONE. ADDING TO THE FAVS AND ALRETS IS GREAT AND WE LOVE THAT TOO AND IT ALL REALLY MEANS A LOT TO US BUT REVIEWS ARE HELPFUL AND THEY MAKE US FEEL GOOD AND LIKE WE'RE DOING THIS FOR SOMETHING. I PERSONALY REVIEW EVERYTHING THAT I READ IF I LIKE IT OR NOT BUT I LET THE WRITER KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT WHAT THEY HAVE DONE. **

**ANYWAY, SO I AM POSTING A NEW CHAP FOR THE REVIEWS THAT I GOT ASKING ME TO KEEP GOING WITH THIS FIC. I AM NOW WRTTING THIS FOR YOU ALL SO I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY IT AND LEAVE ME SOME FEED BACK. THIS FIC REALLY MEANS ALOT TO ME AND THERE IS STILL SUCH A LONG WAY THAT WE HAVE TO GO WITH IT AND I REALLY WANT TO BE ABLE TO SHARE IT ALL WITH THE WORLD BUT I CANT DO THAT WITH OUT FEED BACK. **

**OKAY SO IM DONE WITH EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE TO SAY. ON SOME OTHER NOTES THERE IS A LINK ON MY PAGE TO WHERE YOU CNA SEE PICS OF EVERYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH THIS FIC AND ALSO MY OTHER FICS. WHICH YOU SHOULD ALSO CHECK OUT BECASUE I THINK THERE GREAT...LOL... I WANNA GIVE A SHUT OUT TO MY FREIND CRAZYAPRIL WHO DOESNT EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH SHE INSPIRESE ME AND MY WRITINGS. **

**ANYWAY I LUV ALL OF U & HOPE FOR MANY REIVEWS. **

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**~ Set Free ~**

**Act Two**

**~All I Ever Wanted~**

**Rachel PoV**

I never really asked for that much. What, I did ask for it seemed like there wasn't no one on earth that could give it to me, So I sorta gave up. I've always been a girl that's had high goals for herself. I mean I went to collage three days after I graduated high school. Didn't have no room and board, didn't know anyone yet I got off that bus and made it the whole summer into I got into collage housing. I was a willing homeless person and no one ever knew. Not that if someone had been aware it would have really stopped me from the choices that I made.

Most girls wouldn't have been able to make it through that shit. Things wasn't a all bright and sunshine them days. Yet it was totally worth every moment of it, What don't kill you only makes you stronger and only the strong survive. You can't break something that already broken so I guess I'll always make it.

It's funny because nothing in my past even mattered anymore. I have a degree to be a Psychologists that I never even really wanted it just was the degree that took the longest to get with the money I was allotted for school and I fucking finished that early. It was like a force working against me that was telling me I was going to live in hell before I even died and made it there.

My own personal fucking little spot in hell

And of three things I know for sure.

_1.) I had never been trying to escape my issues I was just trying to take control  
2.) That this world wasn't really what I thought it was  
3.) Some where in the big card game in life I finally got a good hand. Ante up  
_

**//*//**//**//**

It didn't surprise me when I woke up to the loud rumble of thunder. I opened my eyes to the window where I seen what was sure to be a stormy day. The normal over cast skies where about three shades darker only to be light up by the burst of lighting. Fate would have it that for the first time something was going my way. The weather matched my mood to the tee. I laid there watching the sky thinking about my own personal storm that was in the forecast with in myself.

I didn't need to look at the candler or my phone to know that today was Valentines days. The reminders every where didn't help either, It only made dealing with this day even worse. No, I wasn't some girl worried about not getting a gift from there beloved. I wasn't the hopeless romantic that loved the whole believed in the whole idea that love was this blissful force that made everything in life better.

I hated everything about this day. The pinks and red, hearts and teddy bears made me what to throw up. All the fluffy, sugary sweet cards had me wanting to burn down the Hall-Mark store, factory, and everything single person that thought of all the little sayings that was inside them. It was just another day for people to spend money on material things that wouldn't matter years from now anyway.

My valentine's day is based in black and grays, dead roses spiraling into a colorless abyss. Lifeless thoughts sudden goodbye with out a kiss. My valentine's Day are sorrow filled songs composed by my heart, My tears are outcome of words I cant express from my thoughts.

It's been fifteen days today since my mom's death

Today, was my day of mourning, Not that every other of my life I didn't feel the loss of my mom its just that today was the worst. Today was the day that it happened, today was the day that she took her last breath. The last words I ever heard my mother was say was ' Be careful girls it's really icy out this morning.'. I didn't get the chance to say anything back to her because Becca had us running late and she pulled me out the door before I could even say a word.

The messed up part about it all. The thing that really gets me is the fact that my mom died on her way to pick Becca and I up from school so that we could do something special in honor of Valentine's day.

They said that she didn't feel much pain. That she had already died before her car wrapped around the phone pole. It didn't make me feel any better then and only makes me feel worse now. I know that she had to have felt something for the simple fact that my dad was the only one that was aloud to see her and that was even an in and out situation. The coffin was nailed closed due to the severity of it.

I'm not sure on all the details. I don't want to know all the details I do know that the main cause of the accident was the icy roads and a Semi that lost control and the pole she ended up around. I'm not sure of the order of how it happened. It was all the same to me back then. It didn't matter what happened first second and third all that mattered was my mom was gone.

Since then Valentines Day has been the worst day of the year to me.

" Rach! You up?" Dad whispered from the door.

I waved my arm in the air showing him that I was up but there was no where near ready to sit up and start the day.

" I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and I know how hard today is going to be for you with you being back in the house and all." He whispered before making his way back out.

As he wheeled away I felt everything I had been holding inside come out. I felt like a selfish, heartless person. I'm sure that today is harder for him then it is for me yet he's the one that's trying to make me feel better. It hurt me to know that he knew I didn't want to be here, I have never ever came out and said that for the simple fact that I didn't want to hurt him. Yet, he knew and that made me feel like shit.

Taking a deep breath that raised my chest and what felt like to be a million weights I made my way out of bed. Not going far only to my dresser where I proceed to slipped a few pills choking them down with the water I'd had sitting there from the last time. I knew I was going to need a lot more then three little pills to be able to hold it all together but for right now they would work.

My pill intake had increased over the days leading up to today. I didn't have that many left and no real way to get any more so I knew that after they was done I was done. There was no way around it. It was either I quite or I get told on and sent off to long term care which isn't like the facility in Seattle, Long-term care is just that, Long Term. Even on this day I know that getting sent away isn't the thing that I'm really trying to do. If it wasn't for Paul I wouldn't really give a fuck. Hell, if it wasn't for that I would have been already gone.

Really Paul is the only reason why I've been hanging in there. I should have been done lost it all, gave up and not care about the outcome. He saved me from death so I owe him at lest a try. Try to hold it all together with myself so he don't feel like his effort was a total waste of time. I know far too well what that fells like myself. It's not something I want to put on anyone else. It's okay to disappoint yourself but it's kinda fucked up when you do it to someone else.

Picking out a new pair of pajama bottoms and a fresh new white tee shirt I made my way to the shower. Letting my tears flow down the drain with the water I made a vow that I wouldn't cry any more today. I was going to keep it together and care for the people around me instead of everyone taking care of me. I was going to do what I think my mom would have done.

Dressing quickly I went into the kitchen with a smile. Dad stopped what he was doing as he looked up at me. I could tell he was searching my face for some sine that I was going to shatter to the floor, flooding the house with a river of tears. He took in my smile giving me one back in return.

As I kissed him on the top of his head I asked. " So what do you want for breakfast daddy?"

" Whatever you want to make beautiful." He replied with a smile that lit up his eyes.

I was sitting everything out on the table when his voice filled the room. I hadn't even known he was coming.

" Good morning Me'chell." He whispered in my ear which shocked me at the same it made me weak in the knees.

" Good morning Paul." I answered back taking his hand pulling him to the table where sitting down a plate where I wanted him to sit.

He complied shortly after dad joined us. We ate, talked, and laughed. It felt nice to smile and laugh instead of feeling dark and crying. After lunch we all spent the day together in the watching movies, playing cards and just spending a rainy day all together inside. The only thing that was missing was my little brother who I hoped that on today of all days was okay.

Dad excused himself to his room shortly after dinner leaving me and Paul to clean up the kitchen. I didn't mind I was sure he needed this privet time to think about the wife he lost fifteen years ago. I was almost happy that he was gone. It gave him some time alone and gave me some time alone with Paul.

" Sit down." He demeaned pointing to the table.

I looked at him like he was crazy, the look only got more intense as he pushed me into the chair. I watched him as he cleaned the whole kitchen in record time. It was strange watching him. He was so detailed in everything he did. He glossed over things I wouldn't have even thought about cleaning or whipping down. By the time he was done the kitchen looked better then it had in what would have to have been before my mom died.

I laughed because I couldn't belive that I just sat here and let him do all that. The fact that he wanted to do all that surprised me to no end.

" Your so cute when you laugh." Paul said pulling me up into his arms.

Ever since the night I like to call confessions Paul and I relationship had developed into sweet hugs and a few kisses. So letting him wrap his arms around me made me feel wonderfully complete.

" Your cute when you do anything but breathtakingly so when you laugh." He whispered.

" You clean really fast." I said making an effort to move the conversation from myself to him.

Hearing him point out the things he liked about me only made me notice my flaws more and I didn't need any help in that department.

" Why do you always do that?" He asked looking me in the eyes. " Why do you always change the subject when I say something about you?"

I felt my mouth drop open. " How did you know that?" I asked.

It was his turn to laugh. I smiled myself at the fact that I pulled the old answer and question with a question.

" Your readable Me'Chell for someone not to know everything your feeling they would have to be blind." His words were true I could see it deep in his eyes.

" Oh!' Was the only thing I could manage to say as I felt his lips press against mine.

His lips gave me an adrenaline rush better then I could ever get from any drug. It rattled my core in the best of way tickling my soul with it's sweet nectar.

" Come on let's go in the living room." He said as he guided me out of the kitchen.

He sat on the couch pulling me into his lap where I proceed to get comfortable laying my head on his shoulder. I let myself relax letting my body flow with the motions of his hand running up and down my back in a soothing rhythm.

" It's okay." His words like a jet of air that traveled through my ear into my soul.

That's when I did it. For the first time since I made the promise I wasn't going to cry, I let myself go. I cried for my mom. I cried for my missing little brother that I hoped was okay and I would see again one day. I cried for everyone that had ever had to go through any of the things I have went thorough. I cried because I hoped that anyone that was alone today wouldn't be alone tomorrow and that everyday it would all be okay.

It all gets better in time didn't sound so bad now that I seen that hey maybe it does.

This Valentines Day I got more then I could have ever asked for.

_I got all I ever wanted. _

**REVIEW I BEGG OF U...LOL**


	15. I'm With Her

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OMG! I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD NEVER GET THIS CHAP TO POST SOMETHNG VERY CRAZY IS GOING ON WITH THIS SITE AND I HOPE THEY GET IT FIXED REAL SOON. I FEEL LIKE I'VE WENT THRU HELL TO GET THIS CHAP TO YOU ALL. I ALMOST GAVE UP TOO SO A BIG THANKS TO _ari11990 _FOR TELLING ME HOW TO GET AROUND EVERYTHING.

ANYWAY I WANT TO SAY I WAS TAKEN BACK BY ALL THE REVIEWS THAT I GOT LAST CHAPTER THAT'S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT I WAS REALLY BLOWEN AWAY BY WHAT EVERYONE HAD TO SAY AND THAT THE REIVEW NUMBERS WENT UP. I HOPE THAT WE CAN KEEP ON WITH THIS SO THAT I CAN WRITE MORE CHAPTERS. NEXT CHAPTER IS UP IN THE AIR YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE.

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~ Set Free ~

Act Two

~I'm With Her~

Paul PoV

" Don't make any plans for Friday night and if you already have you will cancel them." Mom said as soon as I hit the bottom of the stairs.

I swear that women had super werewolf hearing, the way she would always know when I even kinda entered a room. Most people don't ever hear me coming yet she always knew with-out a doubt when I was around.

" Why!" I whined entering the kitchen where she was already started one her first glass of wine for the day.

She smiled at me which told me right away it was something I was going to hate, but end up forced to go.

" We're going to University of Washington School of Law for the annual benefits formal. Everyone who is everyone is going to be there, Which means its a prime opportunity to get your name out there and let them know your inserted. Not that it's really going to take much because I personally know three out of the five members of the admittance board." She stated proudly taking a swing from her glass.

Letting out a small huff I pulled open the refrigerator roughly letting her know just how really thrilled I was about her news. I could think of a million other ways I would rather spend a Friday night them living up the the high standers mom had set for herself and dragging me along with her. Tonight my mother was going to be Katina, who is her high class socialite rich bitch demeanor. She would be the perfect mother, have the perfect son and home spent most of her life trying to get to the top of high class, And wasn't letting anyone bring it down or tarnish her name.

" Oh come on it's not that bad you know all the girls you met the last times you went." She added with a wink.

That given fact right there would have been enough to win me over if it would have been before I met Rachel. Hell fucking yeah I would have been right on the shit, collage girls are crazy, wild, and like to have fun. There fun was the type of fun that was right up my ally so yeah I did meet a few of them. Shit two years ago I left the formal with two of them on each arm, the night ending with me seeing and feeling things that would make a gay man go straight. I was no longer interested in having sex with every girl I came into encounter with. Been there, did that literary.

It was already set there was no way I was going to get out of going, she already had it set in her mind. I really wasn't trying to live in weeks of hell if i fought against her on this so I just decide to take the easy way out agreeing that I would go and put on my best act to hummer her for the night. There was only one condition though.

" Can I bring someone with me?" I asked with pleading with my eyes.

I knew this question was going to make me or break me. My mother wasn't really the most welcoming type of person, So none of my friends ever fit her standards. Fuck no one in La'Push fit her standards. Watching her take a sip of her wine I could see her moiling over my question in her mind. I felt like getting down on my hands and knees begging her. Only I don't get down like that, I ain't gonna beg anyone for anything.

Letting out a breath of air she looked up at me. " You can bring someone as long as they know there manners, are respectful, and is dressed nicely fitting the surroundings we're going to be in."

I was shocked, As in I couldn't even blink because I was so utterly blown away by the fact that it had been that easy with her over something I was for sure we was going to fight over. Her conditions didn't bother me the person I had in mind was all of them things and I knew would look amazing in formal wear.

_I left the house with a smile and a whistle as I made my way over to The Black House _

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//**//**//**// 3 Hours Later //**//**//**//**//

" When is Billy coming home again?" I mumbled against the side of her neck feeling her shiver under me.

Tilting her head to the side she replied breathlessly. " Later."

_Good _

I placed kisses from her neck to the exposed skin that wasn't covered by the low cute green tank top she wearing. We was laying on the bed, I of course had my place on top of her as she had her arms resting around my lower back.

This is just one of the many intimate positions we had shared during my time here, Billy was out with Charlie Swan and wasn't due back till late so I deiced we would make the best of the privet time we had.

Letting my hands roam over her little sides feeling the lack of cloth on her hips to the top of her exposed belly button. Letting my eyes rake over her body starting off by staring into her beautiful dark eyes, moving on the her juicy lips that called out to mine to be kissed. I didn't even dare to look at her body yet when I did I was met with feelings of desire so strong I wasn't even sure if I could handle it. The way the top of her brown russet breast peeked out from the top of her shirt made my heart beat a little faster.

Just gazing at her was like taking a bottle of Viagra to me. I had never ever, ever wanted a girl as bad as I wanted her. The way her she rolled her pajama bottoms down to where they rested real low like some low rise jeans was enough to drive me up a wall. Her scent was like a million of the best smells in the world mixed into one. She was tropical, vanilla, Kiwi, Fresh Soap, The Sun, and The Ocean at night coming together awaking every emotion with in me. Leaving me memorized with it's dance.

I wanted all of her, I was just waiting for her to give me the green light so I could feel the total essence of her. I was more then ready to take the next step in consummating our relationship giving her all of me in thanks for giving her all of me. I fantasize about having her like I do now only with no clothes and a little more closeness. Not that I would ever bring it up, for the first time in my life I wanted more with a girl then just the sex. I was willing to wait as long as it takes because I knew that one day it would happen.

" I love you Me'Chelle." I whispered drowning into her eyes.

She giggled pulling my face down to hers where she placed a single kiss on my lips.

" I love when you call me Me'Chelle. It makes me feel special." She smiled a deep smile that caused her to scrunch her eyes the way she does when she's really happy about something.

It was my turn to kiss her only I wasn't as selfless as her deepening the kiss until I was sure we was both going to be breathless when we pulled away from each other. Lacing my fingers through her hair I titled her head back letting my tongue explore deeper into her mouth. She tasted so fresh, almost energizer. I could have went on forever but slowly made myself pull away remember that she didn't have the heighted senses I did so she was going to need a break before I would,

" You are special that's why you feel that way." I laughed rolling off her so she would have time to cool off.

_More like giving me time to calm down a little _

" I guess." She mumbled rolling over snuggling closer to me.

She never seemed to mind the heat when we was close. Most of the other imprints complained about, Not Rachel though so was totally unfazed by it yet I still didn't think it was okay to make smother her with it even if she didn't seem to mind. My Rachel had a tendency to like things that made her feel good only they wasn't that good for her. In other words I knew that she wouldn't necessary come out and say she was too hot because she liked me being close.

Throwing my arm lazily around her shoulders I welcomed her next to me with an unseen smile. If there was anything better then kissing, touching, and lusting after her, Cuddling with her was enough to make my whole world. Yeah, Who in the fuck would have ever thought I would enjoy cuddling with a girl. There was only one other girl I ever cuddled with, that was even after I had sex with her. I know a million girls that would fall dead if they was to no there was more to me then the hit it and call em a few weeks later.

" I need to ask you something." I stated as I lifted her head up by her chine so she was looking me in the eyes.

She smiled. " Shot!"

I laughed at her coolness, She never feared questions if you wanted to know something just ask and she'll tell you.

" All right, I gotta go to this formal party for my mom and I was wondering if you would like to be my date." I said with my best smile knowing I probably looked stupid given I was showing all of my teeth.

" OH WOW!" She gushed.

Timidly I looked down at her worried something was wrong, that I hadn't asked right. Most of all I was worried she was going to tell me no.

" I've never been asked to anything important before." She stated matter of factly with a little laugh.

My heart beat jumped back to the sky because I knew that she was going to say yes.

" I would love to go, I got a dress that I haven't had the chance to wear yet because I never had any where fancy enough to wear it too." She jabbered excitedly.

I couldn't hide my own excitement as I pulled her on top of me tickling her sides causing her to scream out in laughter. It wasn't long before the tickling transformed into kissing.

_By the time I left The Black House I had a hickey the size of a dime on my neck, a girl I was falling more in love with everyday. And A date for Friday night wince meant the night wouldn't all the way suck. Nope if she was there it would be great.  
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//**//**// Friday Night //***//**//**

" Do not be late Paul and make sure you go over the rules with whoever your bringing again so they fully understand that the St'Vincent name is on the line tonight." Mom ranted in a rushed hurry as she collected her stuff getting ready to make her way out to the car.

I laughed handing her keys. " I got this Momma."

After she was assured that I had everything under control and would show up right on time she made her way out. Meaning I would see her in three hours. Making sure she got out the drive-way all right I made my way up to my room to start getting ready.

I had put it off till the last minute given I hated dressing up. Don't get me wrong I like to wear nice things I just don't like to stray to far from my jeans and seat suites. I was a south pole, dickies, and Sean Jon type of guy. Dress pants with the whole nine yards wasn't really my thing.

Finally deciding on a black button down Gucci shirt that I easy pared with a butter cream sweater and my newsiest pair of tillered black slacks I made my way to the bathroom to get ready. Come to find out through pack mind and knowing guys in generally I had the best section when it came to clothes. While the other guys were worried about busting out of there clothing I always had more then enough to spare. But when it came to dress clothing I was the wolves go to guy. When Jared need nice clothing to wear to dinner with Kim's parents I fixed him up quite nicely which landed with him being well liked by the parental unit.

_What can I really say, I have style. I'm too picky not to._

Showering quickly I got dressed and was just putting the finally touches on my hair when I heard my phone ring the formal tone that made my heartbeat faster.

" Me'Chelle!" I answered letting the happiness from her call be heard in thorough the phone.

" Paul." She whispered breathlessly before letting out a giggle.

I smiled to myself as I looked myself over in the full body mirror to make sure I looked okay waiting for her to say something.

" Well...I just called to let you know that it took me five hours and a fight with Leah, but I'm ready." She laughed as I heard Leah say something smart in the background.

Letting out a sigh I laughed. " I'll be there in thirty."

Before she had the chance to say anything else I heard her scream before she throw a numbered amount of cruses words playfully at Leah.

" I'll be here." She laughed hanging up the phone.

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I was too wrapped up in the whole being that was Rachel Me'Chelle Black that I didn't even notice all the heads turn as we entered. I can't say I blame any of them for the simple fact I myself couldn't keep my eyes off her. The way her dress hugged all of her curves, exposed the sexy cleavage I had ever seen. I had never seen anyone with as much grace and class as she carried as we walked through the door.

" Everyone's looking at me." She whispered moving more into me.

I gave her a reassuring smile tighten my arm around her waist. I didn't understand how someone who looked as beautiful as she did could ever be so self conscious.

" They've never seen a girl as beautiful as you." I whispered back against her ear giving her neck a little bush with my lips before I pulled away with a smile.

" Champaign?" Some guy carrying a tray of flutes asked stopping beside us staring at Rachel.  
I took a glass from his tray handing it to her placing my hand on her lower back gesturing her away from him.

I made sure not to move my hand as we made our way across the room, Letting everyone in the room know that she was in fact taken. I was so hypnotized by the glow of her skin when the lights hit her just right. Or how the rhinestones on the front of her dress sparkled when her eyes did.

During this moment in time there wasn't nothing on my mind about sex, touching, or anything of that nature I was truly captivated by the way this beautiful women I had been blessed to be parried with for life. She was my other half meaning she was meant for me. The thoughts of knowing that for once there was something on my side to give me someone as perfect as her still rocked me to my very core. It makes up for all the lost times, the shitty times, and the fucked up things that has happened in my life. I would go through it all over again to know I was going to be given something this good.

" Paul, Honey why didn't you come and find me as soon as you got here?" My mothers voice pulled me out of my haze and directly into her face as she stood in front of me.

She looked at me for a brief seconds before all of her attention was focused on Rachel and my arm around her. I wasn't really sure on how my mom would take my friend being a girl, I hadn't thought that far ahead of time to know that springing this up on on might not have been the best thing to do.

" I don't think we've meet. I'm Katina." Mom said extending her with little effort towards Rachel.

" I'm Rachel Black it's nice to meet you." My goddess said graciously touching her hand.

Mom smiled that didn't even touch her surface before she quickly directed her attention to me.

" You have important people to meet dear, come along." She beckoned as she turned walking flawlessly through the crowed.

Rachel laughed besides me causing me to look down at her.

" What's so funny?" I asked sounding a little bit more harsh then I had meat to.

" Your mother doesn't like me...Not at all." She said as she looked up at me with a wide smile.

That was the thing about Rachel, it was like a gift or something she had to where she could just read people from one look or a few words. She could tell you what type of person you was and your biggest fear by one glance in your eyes. She could see things in others that people couldn't see, only she couldn't see everything that was with in her.

She pulled away from me. " You better go, don't want to keep your mom and them important people waiting."

" W-what! Where are you going?" I asked stumbling over my words feeling anger set in.

" I'm going over to that bar and I'm going to have free drinks while I wait for you to come and get me." She rushed pointing to bar.

Giving her a small kiss I pushed her off in the direction making sure she got there and was seated before I went off to find my mother. A part of me didn't even wanna go look for her because I wasn't ready to hear what she had to say. Rachel had been right my mother didn't like her, another time I would count it off as just the type of person she was. Her not liking my imprint on the other hand wasn't sitting to well with me.

With my wolf nose it didn't take long to smell her out as I wondered into the lounge area where she was standing with a group of people.

" Paul will be joining us very shortly, He's brought a friend with him so I'm sure he's getting them settled before he joins us." She said with a laugh as she talked with the group.

_Not the type of friend she was expecting_

I gave my mom here time letting her pull me around from person to person. I smiled and gave my best talk leaving a whole bunch of people with empty promise about how I want to follow in my fathers foot steps, abut how I couldn't wait to attend school there just fall. I did such a great job I was almost as proud as my mother was. After about an hour of the met and greet I was tired of the bullshit more then ready to get back to the girl I left at the bar.

" Mom, I'm gonna go check on my friend." I whispered to her as soon as I caught my chance to get-a-way.

To caught up in the sight of seeing Rachel again I rushed out of the room faster then humanly normal. When I got to the bar the first thing I noticed was that she was gone. I cant really put into words what I was feeling in that very moment, It was so were along the lines of pure panic accompanied but worry. Where had she gone to and why would she leave after she told me she would be sitting here.

" Can I get you drink Sir?" The bartender asked as I stood looking dumbfounded.

I shook my head no as I thought everything over in my mind. Maybe she was upset about my mother and decided she would leave before anything else could happen. Or what if I had taken too long and she deiced to go with some other guy. I should have never left her sitting at a bar where she would be fare game to any guy who was willing to try.

" Do you know where the girl in the gold dress went?" I asked the bartender hoping he would have watched her or something.

He laughed sitting a drink in front of me. " Gosh, Everyone is worried about the girl in the gold dress. The last time I spotted her she was on her way out front with a few girls, I think she was going to smoke. That wasn't too long ago so I would try there."

He didn't even have the chance to finish his statement before I was up and out. Rachel didn't smoke, so I didn't understand why she would be outside. It was cold and she was wearing a strapless gown. I didn't have to go to far before I saw the trial of her dress flowing from a group a little mass of people. Making my way closer to her I traveled up her body notching she wasn't as cold as I thought she was.

Some where along the way the bartender got the story wrong when he said she come out with a few girls, because now there was a few guys one of which was such a fucking gentleman was standing with a stupid smirk because that was all he cold to the keep from shivering. As Rachel stayed all warmed up by his jacket. I moved up closer until I was directly behind her.

Wrapping my arm around her waist I whispered in her ear. " If you would have told me you wanted to go outside I could have kept you warm."

I felt her adrenalin rush as I hold her against me.

" I didn't know when you was coming back, I can't sit at the bar all night." She said as she turned around in my arms to face me.

" Are you warm enough now?" I asked eyeing the jacket she still was wearing.

A look of terror crossed her face. " Baby, I didn't know where you was, I met a few girls at the bar I told them that I was waiting on you so they invited me outside."

" Times done you right St'Vincent." A voice I hadn't heard in a long time pulled me out of containing my conversation with Rachel.

_Kristen Myers_

Kristen Myers was my only girl out of all the girls I was with that could really say there my ex and mean it. The last time I had seen her was the night she broke my heart and I had sex with her best friend in her car. Not really the best choice of memories to leave with a person. Now, here she was standing not even five feet away from me watching my encounter with Rachel.

" She's beautiful Paul, But you never had any issue getting any girl you've ever wanted." She said giving me a weak smile before she butted out her cigarette walking away.

I was dazed shocked to the core by the fact that she had said that to me. I don't know if it was the fact that she said it or if was the fact that it was true. I had really been a fucked up guy to a lot of girls but to her, to her I was really fucked up too.

" She's still in love with you Paul, I talked to her she told me everything. And I say from the way you look right now you still have feelings for her too." Rachel whispered pushing against my chest breaking from my embrace walking away.

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" Me'Chelle." I pleaded for the millionth time for her to hear me out.

The whole ride back to the rez she hadnt said anything to me, she was sitting right next to me but it felt like she was a million miles away. I needed her to know that she was wrong I wasn't in love with Kristen Myers any more. I never really was.

" Go ahead Paul, Tell me how your not in love with her anymore. She doesn't mean anything to you right?" She whispered looking over at me as tears ran down her face.

I stopped the truck in the middle of the road facing all of my attention on my crying angel.

" She doesn't matter to me. I was never in love with her in the first place. She wasn't the one and it wouldn't have worked out either way anyone wants to look at it. You, Your the one that is perfect for me. The one and only girl I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life. If you didn't...or don't want me then I wont be with anyone. Because I don't want anyone other then you." I said meaning it more then I ever meant anything before in my whole life.

" I love you." She whispered before she leaded over the seat to kiss me.

" I love you and I'm with you remember that." I said letting her lips touch mine.

_It's funny how for most of my times with girls i couldn't get any satisfaction unless it was through sex, yet with Rachel just knowing that she loves me is enough to get me through the rest of my life. I was a different guy then i started out to be, my whole life has changed instead of a girl being with me. I was finally with a girl. _

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**A**S ALWAYS PLEZE REVIEW IT REALLY MEANS ALOT TO ME & TELL ME WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE NEXT. I HAVE A BIG CHAPTER PLANED FOR THE ONE AFTER THE NEXT ONE BUT I WANT TO LET YOU ALL HAVE IT YOUR WAY SINCE YA'LL WAS SO KIND AND LET ME HAVE MY WAY.


	16. Long Thoughts

**Hello to all my Paul and Rachel lovers.. I have taken it on myself to post a new chapter for all of you to read. I know that its been a while and I'm sorry about all the time it's been but I havent just been doing nothing. I have posted a new fic which is coming along very well and if your not reading it then " WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Lol....**

**The fic is called The Worng Side Of Everything and it's based on Leah and Embrys little girl Leah. BUt Paul and Rachels son Stephen is in it and it's gonna be great. So you all should check it out and find out what's going on I can put it on everything that you will love it. I update it a lot and there is always something happening. **

**In other News this fic is about to get a new breath of life after this chap I know that some of you are waiting for something to happen and lets just say that alot of good things are about to happen. This fic is going to go from ranted teen to all out M plus some... hehe... Jacob gonna be coming home soon, big drama ahead can't wait to write it. **

**Reviews are great and I would love to get a few for this chap I'm trying to catch up to FearLess so come Rachel and Paul lovers let's get it... as always I own nothing if I did I would still be writting fanfic cuz it's fun...lol... review & review pleze pleze.... hehe... luv yall**

* * *

**~ Set Free ~**

**Act Two**

**~Long Thoughts~**

**Rachel PoV**

**" FUCK!"** Paul yelled angrily slamming his phone up against the steering wheel so hard pieces crumbled to the floorboard.

I let out a little laugh before I deiced the best way to calm him down would be to make a joke about what had just happened.

" I didn't really like that phone anyway, it's always kinda fuzzy when you talk on it." I smiled rubbing his arm a little.

It worked because he took my hand giving it a small kiss before he smiled back at me. Paul had been going through a lot lately, ever since the ball or whatever you wanted to call it his mother has been on his ass about school, His has been trying to sell him on the thought of moving to New York for his 18th birthday. I'm not really sure on the newsiest addition to the list, I just know it was something from the way he just acted.

" Me'Chelle, I know that your gonna be upset with me but I'm not going to be able to do anything we planed for today." He whispered as if the words hurt him to much to say.

_Should have knew _

" It's cool." I mumbled, The only way I could say anything back to him without sounding bummed out.

_Was it really cool.... _

No, But there's no need to make anyone feel bad because it's really not going to change anything. Good thing we hadnt even pulled out of my drive-way yet. I pushed open the door jumping down better then I ever had since I started riding in this truck.

" It's fine just call me or something when ever you can." I stated trying to stand strong as tears burned my eyes.

Pushing the door closed I made my way quickly inside the house letting the screen door slap closed behind me.

" Rachel?" My dad called from the kitchen.

I didn't even make an effort to answer him as I ran to my room closing the door silently behind me. It was then that I left the tears fall as they wanted. It wasn't just the fact that Paul couldn't make through with our plans. Really, the only reason I got out of the truck was so that he wouldn't have to see me like this. From what I gathered from the whole imprinting thing is that when your sad, they're sad or something like that. I know Paul worries about me a lot more then any seventeen year old boy should worry about a girl. So I got out so I wouldn't have to worry about me.

Not that it made me feel any better, That's just one of the small pieces that added up to make big pieces. Just one of the links in the chains that's wrapping tightly around my neck. When I would sit and think on this whole thing that was Paul and I I notice how off balance our relationship really is. I never really thought about the age thing, until he told me about his issues in school. That's when I realized that he was in fact still in High School and I was already a collage graduate.

Then I remembered all the times he's taken me places and stayed up all night making sure I was okay. All the while he should have been in school, Living his own life instead of trying to save mine. I'm going to be the one that holds him back from chances that he has. Like the chance to get away from this death trap, The chance to make something with his life.

I feel so bad when I lay in his arms because I know it's me that it's not me who should be there. Paul should be with someone that hasn't already had all of life big fuck ups. Someone that can care for him and make sure he's getting everything he needs. He needs a beautiful girl with no bagged, No drug addiction and totally over the moon for him. He needs anybody but me.

The most fucked up part about the whole is that I am in love with Paul, and I'm a very selfish person so he'll have to leave me long before I could ever leave him. Who knows maybe he'll come to his senses and see that I'm everything he doesn't he need. I'm not all he's ever wanted, I'm that sugar coated poison that's going to kill him slowly. I finished my bottle of pills three weeks ago, yet I still shake the bottle everyday like some more are just going to magically appear.

It upset's me so much that I cant just let them go. That it's so hard for me to function with out them. That my life is so fucked up I cant seem to face it in a normal state of mind. How I have never let anything rule my life, yet the drugs have taken full control of it. I'm going to gain the weigh back all the weight I lost, Which is just going to be another added trouble to my list in life.

_Sure let's throw an eating disorder on the list too _

No really I didn't have an eating disorder even though from the way I talk about it you would assume that I do. It's just that on the pills I take I don't eat. Matter of fact the same pills are used in some weightless programs. I wasn't a very large girl to start off with, but since being on the drugs so long I've gotten used to the way my body looks with them. So when I'm with out them I notice it a whole lot more.

" Rachel, Are you okay?" My dad asked from outside my door.

I wanted to pull the door open and yell in his face that I'm not okay and never will be okay so stop asking me already. Since my whole mission in life was not to bring everyone else down with my bad day I simply stated everything was fine and listened to him roll away. It was always good just to send dad on his way even though I know he would listen to all my issues, I knew he had his own so hearing mine wouldn't really help him any.

Being the master of keeping things to myself, it's became something I do naturally now. I keep things that only matter to me to myself. I guess all the years of Becca telling me no one really cares about anything I have to say finely set in. Like always she can laugh in face while telling me she told me so. I haven't talked to her in months and she still is pissing me off to this very second.

**" FUCK!"** I screamed throwing the empty pill bottle at the wall before running out of my room and out of the house until I made it to the top of the street.

I wasn't sure where I was going. Hell, I had been home for ever now and hadnt even really ventured into town. I didn't even meet up with Leah again until about a month ago. She has so much going on in her own life that she doesn't really have time to hang out anymore. The girl is a fucking wolf for fuck sake I wouldn't even dare to share my issues with her when she has so many more a lot worse then mine.

I felt bad for her when I wasn't being selfish and swimming in my own pity pool. She lost her dad, got left by the man she loved for her cousin and then to top it all off turned into a wolf. When she first told me about the first time she phased I was shocked and grateful that it was her and not me. I couldn't even began to imagine having to deal with that in my life. What's even scarier is that it could have very well been me. It's in the blood.

The magical blood that flows through everyone on the Rez. Sometimes I think they build it up as a gift to take anyway for the fact that it's really a cruse. That's just my view of it not that I would ever say it out loud for the fear of being stone or banished from the Rez. Which on the all in all I might wish would happen but then I know if I ever did I would really be screwed because I have no where else to go.

Proving my point as to why I'm standing in the middle of the side walk completely lost as to where I'm going.

_My fucking life....LOST _

**//**//**//**//**

" Hey, Mrs. Clearwater is Leah home by any chance?" I asked with a little smile hoping it would take away from the fact I was soak and wet.

" Rachel Black! You get your ass in this house right now. What are you doing walking around in a storm?" Sue rambled sternly pulling me into the house.

Sue Clearwater some what took the role of my mother a little after my mom died. She was the one who told me about getting my period and warned me against the side affects of starting sexual relationships. When I went off to school my bond with her kinda broke but I still looked at her with love and admiration.

" You go up to Leah's room and find something dry to get into." She demanded pushing me half way up the stairs.

It had been forever since I had been in the Clearwater house. Though it was the same as I remembered only on my way to Leah's room I didn't have to wade through a hall full of toys. When Seth was little he used to drag all his toys out of his room and play with them in front of Leah's door which always meant there was always toys scatted about in the hall.

It was those memories that made me remember when my life wasn't the shit it is now. Well, my life has always been a bunch of shit I was just young enough then not to realize it. Flipping on the light to Leah's room I was almost shocked. It was nothing like I remembered it to be, which was my bright happy place in life. I know it shouldn't have hurt my feelings so much that all the posters of the famous people we used to love was down, Or that the once rainbow colored room was now a pale boring badge, yet it did.

_I guess sometimes things are better as a memory _

It didn't take me long to find something to wear granted Leah had clean clothes in stacked on her bed. I wondered where she slept at them remember that she was busy running patrol most nights sleep really didn't come easy to her. Not sure on what I could wear and what i couldn't i deiced on a pair of yellow yoga pants and a white t-shirt.

" Where's them wet clothes you took off?" Sue asked barging into the room just as I pulled the shirt over my head.

I scoped up the wet clothing I had thrown on the floor handing them to her as she walked out the room. I guess she was going to wash them so that I could have them back before I went home or something like that. It was nice of her to do I would have to remember to thank her when I saw her around the house again. After I was dressed, which I looked like a little step-child that was wearing her older sisters clothes. Leah's clothing was just a little too big for me, I was a small petite girl, while Leah was a tall, slender, model type.

_Everything that I wasn't _

After brushing my hair out I made my way down stairs I wasn't really sure what I was gonna to since Leah wasn't home but I was really hoping that Sue wouldn't make me leave. She didn't have to entertain me or anything just let me stay was enough for me. I heard here humming a tune so I followed it until I came to the kitchen.

" What's wrong Rachel?" She asked not even turing to look at me.

Letting out a breath I deiced that I was just going to tell her like I told everyone else.

" Nothing." I whispered making my way to the table.

" I don't know why all you kids feel the need to lie to me, Like I'm silly and don't know that something's wrong. You, Leah, Seth and Jacob are all the same." She mumbled before throwing down her towel making her way to the table.

" What do you mean Jacob?" I asked.

It wasn't everyday that my baby brother was brought up so I made sure to jump on it every time he was with hopes to get some information as to what the hell was going on with him and why he just wouldn't come home so I could take care of him. I know that he was mad at me because of the way I left him, But I was home now and I wanted him home too.

Sue cleared her throat. " Billy hasn't told you why Jacob ran away?" She asked.

Truth is that me and dad hasn't really talked since I've been home. I think the whole issue with me almost ending up dead, being addicted to drugs and all around letting him down has had an affect on our relationship. Even before I moved back to this hole I only called home about once a month and that was just to check on Jacob. Thinking about that was just another thing added to the list on why I felt like utter shit as a person.

" No, Embry is the only person that has told me anything about my little brother." I whispered looking down ashamed.

She laughed. " Honey, Don't feel bad about not knowing. Hell, I have to find out new things about my kids everyday and I live with em. The whole thing is that Jacob isn't the little boy you remember. He's gone through changes, found his first love and lost it all in the same moment. He's gonna be fine though they always pull through." With that she got up leaving me to my thoughts.

Still didn't help me much, but it was better then the nothing I was getting from everyone else. I knew that Jacob wasn't the little boy I remember. I could look around and see that just by looking at all of his friends. I'm not really sure what she meant about love, but I felt reasonable because I should have been around to make sure that he didn't get his heartbroken.

I should have been the one to tell him about girls and all of there hurtful ways. I didn't even know if my little brother was having sex yet. Most girls don't wanna know when there little brother starts making it with the girls. I wanted him to know how to protect himself against stuff he couldn't fight against using his supernatural forces. I should have been more of a big sister to him, them the sister that was always at school because she was too heartless to stay with my family.

I'm not sure on how long I was sitting in the kitchen or how long I had been crying it wasn't until I heard a deep voice that throw me off pulling me out of the hole I was mopping in.

" Rachel are you okay?" A voice I didn't recognize asked.

I looked up taking in a tan slim but muscular boy standing in front of me with shaggy hair that was going ever which way on his head. He was wearing only jean short which was sitting really low but it didn't have the affect on me it should have. Guess I only have eyes for one man now.

" Who are you?" Spilling out of my mind traveling through my mouth.

He laughed. " I'm Seth silly."

If I hadnt been blown away by the changes this wolf thing had done to Embry and Quil I was in utter shock as I looked at Seth. It was hard to belive that this guy standing in front of me was my best friends little sweet baby brother that used to try to come home with me every time I would leave.

" WOW!" I mumbled breathlessly.

His smile is what gave him away. Everything else about him might have changed but his sweet smile still had the power to warm my heart and I just wanted to pull him into my arms and kiss his cheeks.

" Why was you crying?" He asked concern lacing his voice.

I don't know it seemed like a million people have asked me that question today and it was so easy to tell them nothing but when he asked me this question I wanted to tell him everything.

I sighed. " I'm just missing a lot of people in my life right now. Haven't really had the best day ever. Basically life sucks and there's nothing you can do about it."

He took a seat across from me. " Yeah, Some times I feel like that when I think about my dad and the life that I used to have. But you know what it gets easier once you just accept the things you cant change and move on to the things that you can."

I couldn't help but laugh at the fact this what 14 year old boy had told me something most grown people don't even know. He was right on top of it all.

" You know what it's not cool when a little boy says something that makes sense and cheers me up." I smiled playfully hitting him in the arm.

He gave me a big smile. " Yeah, Little brother's come in handy just ask Leah"

I spent the rest of my time at the Clearwater house playing cards with Seth making the best of the down time he had. Though the whole time I was playing with Leah's little brother.. I couldn't help but to wish I was playing with mine.

**//**//**//**

**" WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PAUL?"** I heard a female voice scream.

I was sure that I was asleep but I wasn't really sure if that was the fact. I didn't bothered to try to figure it out though as I laid I heard more

**" WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME HOME PAUL?" **The voice hissed again.

" It's not because I like you trust me on that, I think something that belongs to me is at your house." I heard Paul say back being a smart ass.

I would know Paul's voice if I was dead in a coma

**" YEAH! WELL YOU BETTER HOPE THAT, THAT SOMETHING IS HERE BECAUSE I'MA PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH IF IT'S NOT!" **as the voice got closer I realized it was in fact Leah I was hearing.

_Why was Leah yelling at Paul_

I heard a door come open right before I felt cold air hit my body. That with the talking was enough to wake me enough that I noticed I was on a couch.

" See told you." Paul called as I felt warm arms wrap around my body lifting me up off the couch.

" Your lucky!" Leah called as she made her way up the stairs.

I watched as Paul carried me out of Leah's house making his way up the street. The storm we had earlier must have brought on a cold front because it was colder then it had been when I first started out today. I pressed my body more against Paul trying to shied myself from to cold winter fingers that was trying to wrap around me.

" I'm sorry about our plans. Wouldn't you know that Sam but me back on patrol today." He laughed pushing the hair out of my face to find me looking at him.

I gave him a shy smile. " That's the luck of it." I laughed.

He gave me a quick kiss before holding me tighter against him as he took off at a run. Nothing was really said the whole way from Leah's house to mine. We got to my house in record speed it was like two minutes before he was standing me up on the porch.

" I missed you all day." He mumbled pulling me into him as he kissed me deeply.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face hearing his words. No one has ever told me that they missed me. Well someone might have but it didn't matter because it didn't come from this man standing in front of me.

" I've been thinking all day." I laughed taking a step back so I could look up at him.

His gray eyes bore into mine and I felt like I was in a daze. Pulling myself back I went on to what I was gonna say.

" Paul, I love you okay but I don't want you to think that you always have to take care of me. I want you to have a life and do things that you want to do. I want you to go to school and if you want to go to New York try life out first before you just throw it all away for me." I said sternly looking deep into his eyes.

I don't know why I thought it was gonna take him a long time to answer back from something like that. It just proves to me how different me and him really are. While it would have took me weeks to think of something to say it took him seconds.

" Rachel as long as I have you in life all them other things don't matter. If I one day i deiced that I couldn't take La'Push any more the first thing I would pack up is you. There's not going to be any me with you and if I have anything to do with it there will never be a you with out me remember that." He stated sounding like the perfect guy that he was.

_One of two things happened that night. The first being that I knew with out a doubt if everything in my life was to blow away that Paul would be the one would try to catch it with me. And last, I knew that there was something I could give him that would make us stand equal...Myself_


	17. June 8th 2011 Meassage from me

**HELLOOOOO READERS!**

06/07/2011

Hey i just wanted to take the time to leave a new memo on here about a few of the fics that are left undone, I know that it has been a while since I've worked on any of my fics and I realize that I have left alot of people haning. SO from the bottom of my heart let me say that I am very sorry to have just left this fic to sit and rott it was never my goals to leave a bunch of unfinshed works just sitting online. At one point in time fanficton was the only thing that I had I was at a real low in life and writtng, reading, and letting myself falll deep into the world of fiction took away some of the issues I as facing and for that I love it and am happy to see that it hasnt died and still going strong.

To my fans.. well the fans I did have I really must think you for being my connection when I needed one the most. I still get teary eyed when I read through some of your reviews and cant help but smile at the fact that you all really enjyed my work I can a million times over again how greatful I am to ya'll but it will never show how much I really care. I love you all so very much and hope that when I start writting again you guys will give me aonther chance to make right.

But really in turth I know from a few reveiws & adds that i got that there is a whole new world of readers out here now and somehow they stummbled & gave a new breath of air to a few of my fics. I would like to say thanks for all the new readers who have got past the first few pages of fics and made there way to where I was at. It really means alot to me, I'm hopen you all will stuck with me through the rest of this so we can put these fics to bed the right way.. send them off with some respect instead of leaving undone collecting dust...

So on june 7th 2011 I want to make a toast to and to twilight as a whole I'm happy to know that it's still rocking people's boats...Let fanfic fovere live on.. Now what I need to know Is how many people want me to keep writting on my fics, I need to hear reviews if you want me to keep writting or not becasue I really want to finshe up my fics but I only will do them if people is going to read and review and tell a friend... so fill up my inbox, review & let me know wheater this is going to be or not to be...

As always with luv...Sweetly!


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